Last week, I noticed a slight tickle in my throat. I assumed it was from the air quality here in Los Angeles due to the fires. I didn’t think much of it and went on with my workday. By Friday evening, the tickle had grown into a dry cough. I prepared a cup of hot chamomile tea with honey before teaching my Zoom class for Japanese students in my oracle card program. I did my absolute best to discreetly press the mute button and control my facial muscles while coughing just a bit to clear my throat. But as the second hour of the program unfolded, it seemed to be getting colder and colder in the house. I pushed through my discomfort, and discreetly texted David to turn on the heat.
After class, I walked into the living room and asked David, “Aren’t you freezing in here?”
“It’s 72 degrees in the house. Are you sure you feel okay?” David kept asking.
“I’m fine. I’m fine,” I insisted while rubbing my arms.
We had a trip planned to see family in Florida over the weekend. I really wanted to celebrate my dad’s 81st birthday and kept focusing on that date in my mental calendar as I layered a sweater over the one I was already wearing.
Later, I sat down at the dining room table for dinner, looking like I was dressed for skiing. My teeth started chattering uncontrollably.
“Are you sure you feel okay? You don’t look so hot,” David asked sweetly.
“I’m f-f-f-fine,” I chattered back.
After dinner, I finally decided to check my temperature, and sure enough, it was 101°F—I was clearly getting sick.
Saturday morning, after a fitful night of sleep filled with simultaneous sweating and shivering, I took a combination COVID and flu test. Almost immediately, it came back positive for the flu. That’s when I finally accepted that we would have to cancel our flights, and self-care had to become the top priority.
In a fevered haze, I started tidying up around the house in an effort to be helpful. David finally stopped me and said, “Will you just allow yourself to be sick? You need to rest.”
He had a point.
I tend to struggle with giving myself permission to heal, and I think that’s common for many people in the healing arts. We push ourselves to be there for others, holding space for them, while often ignoring the small signals our own bodies send us—until we’re forced into rest by minor ailments.
I was surprised by the wave of guilt I felt about letting people down or disappointing someone. Flurries of worry came to mind: I didn’t want to reschedule appointments for people who had been waiting to speak with me. I had scheduled online classes for groups of people who blocked out time in their days to attend. What about all the things I wanted to do to help my dad? Meanwhile, my body was practically begging me to sleep so it could focus on healing.
I’m happy to report that after several nights of deep sleep and a few days of rest, I’m starting to feel like I’m on the mend. I had a long, apologetic conversation with my body, promising to honor the subtle whispers of discomfort that I ignored earlier and to be more mindful moving forward.
If you’re anything like me, try to pay attention to what your body might quietly be trying to tell you before that whisper becomes a shout. That sore shoulder could be a nudge from the universe, gently suggesting you take a break. Or a headache might be your higher self saying that regardless of your goals, it’s time to unplug for an afternoon.
So how do we know when it’s time for self-care? Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- Am I ignoring physical discomfort or minor symptoms, hoping they’ll go away?
- Have I been feeling more irritable or overwhelmed than usual?
- Is my body asking for rest, but I’m pushing through anyway?
If the answer to any of these is yes, it might be time to pause.
Even 30 minutes of intentional rest or self-nourishment can make a big difference. Try taking a nap, meditating, drinking water, or simply saying “no” to a task that can wait.
What I’ve learned, time and time again, is that self-care and recharging our batteries ultimately give us the clarity and energy we need to show up fully—not just for ourselves, but for the people we love.
Much Love,
Dougall
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21 Responses
Sorry that you were sick. I also have a struggle in the past with healing guilty when I was sick and couldn’t do the normal things I did for my relationship with my husband. I had to learn that I was being of service by letting him take care of me.
Thanks for your comment Joe, and great insight! Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is to just allow our loved ones to support us. 💜
Why is it so difficult for us to take of ourselves? It always seems to be difficult for because there are so many around me that think I should do everything no matter how I’m feeling. It’s a definite learning process. Allow David to take care of you while you take care of yourself.
I agree Patricia, it’s definitely a lesson that’s worth learning! 💜
Hi Dougall! I’m so glad you’re feeling better! I have to say I was smiling a bit when reading the part about you tidying the house to be helpful. I do the same thing!!! And then I thought, “I bet Dougall was working and writing this blog while sick!!!” …which I also do…AND I work in self-care! The struggle is real (do we still say that?!) but I’ve found over the years that for me, it comes down to the little things I make time for daily. I used to feel it was impossible to carve out time to get a massage but it was a lot easier to make time for 3 mins of stretching at my desk after each Zoom mtg. If we can ritualize some of these little things it starts to become more of who we are – “I’m a person that takes care of myself!” (BTW I’ve added spritzing myself with essential oils after the Zoom mtgs too and it’s been transformative!) Also having an incredible support system like David is so helpful in validating what we need and that it’s okay to rest, care for ourselves. Thank you for sharing and helping us feel less alone on the self-care journey!
Such great tips Siena, thank you for sharing! I love the idea of making time for smaller amounts of self-care everyday. 💖
So sorry your sick… thank you for this blog. I needed to hear this. I have your oracle cards and have dawned the card take care of your health many times. I now have tendonitis in my shoulder and don’t know how I got it. I could listen to your wisdom all day.
Blessings,
Doris
Thank you for your kind words Doris, they mean the world to me.💙 I’m sorry to hear about the tendonitis, it sounds like some self-care is exactly what you need right now as well. I’m sending healing energy your way.
Aweeee Thank you!🩷
Bless,
Doris
I completely resonate!!!! Ugh! why do I put my self last? Most likely worthiness issues. I think when we are used to taking care of everyone else, we forget that we need nurturing too, be it from ourselves or someone else. Glad you are on the mend.
We absolutely need nurturing as well Deborah! Personally I just think that healers and light workers tend to focus on supporting others first, so it’s easy to forget our own needs. Thanks for your kind words! 🩵
I’m so sorry to hear that you were sick. I know that I feel that “guilt” of promising to be that support, or the need to finish the project, or the fear of what will others think if I don’t show up. I know that is a learned behavior that I saw in both my parents. They would push until they couldn’t and it would take them a lot for them to slow down and take care of themselves. I could so relate when you feel the need to tidy up the house to be helpful. I do the same thing and John will tell me to please go to bed and rest. I have learned to start to listen to my body by walking away from the computer, take a nap, or just sit and listen to soothing music. Your blog was another good reminder. Thank you. Continued prayers for healing.
Thank you Elias, it’s a lesson that I’m continuing to learn! Sending you both a big hug. 😊
I am so glad you finally listened to your body and got the rest that you needed. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and I have to constantly monitor and listen to my body and rest when it demands it. Of course it’s annoying as I’m an a-type person and I want to get 50 things done at once but I’ve had to learn and still learn over and over to slow down. Take one task at a time and then rest. Wishing you the best for the new year and listening to your body more carefully. Blessings, Robin
Thank you Robin, it feels good to know that you understand! 💙
Here’s a gentle reminder for a self-hug… use said time to check in with your hydration levels, too.
Thank you Elena, I’m grateful for you! 💗
Thank you Dougall for this reminder as listening to our body, letting go of the guilt, and what a powerful message you are bringing to me as I am taking some time to rest, recharge, and regroup and be better through the honoring of my body. Feel better soon. Love and Angel Blessings xoxoxo
Thank you for the kind words Janet, they really resonate! Letting go of the guilt is a great affirmation. 🧡
A wise mentor I study with once said “Lead by example.” He told me purple and pink are a good combination for times when guilt interferes with the need for self care . When family is involved the heart strings do tug harder. Hope you feel better soon.
Thank you Deborah, I appreciate you.💜🩷