On Tuesday August 27th, my mother made her final transition. Although my family and I knew this was coming, I now understand that there is no way to prepare for losing a parent. I am sharing this personal story out of gratitude for your kindness, support and loving energy during this challenging time.
When my mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer, she originally intended to treat it aggressively. But as we progressed down this path, we quickly realized that the toll of this treatment was just too great for her body to bear. Her two rounds of chemotherapy weakened her so drastically that her doctor would not allow her to continue.
On top of this, my mother has dealt with severe body pain from a car accident for well over 20 years. This combination of factors resulted in her not being able to care for herself at all. Once it became clear that treatment was not an option, she opted in to hospice care, as a way to be as comfortable as possible.
My mom often used humor to find a silver lining in any situation, and during this chapter in her life she decided that she could finally eat how she wanted. She embraced her love of candy and sweets in a fun way. We would giggle as she ordered enormous bags of m&ms in every flavor. I would bring her back a box of candy from anywhere I traveled. Nurses would come into her room and with wide eyes she would tell them about her “stash” and to help themselves.
It’s hard to watch a loved one in pain, not being able to fix it for them. But I learned that when feeling this helpless, it’s natural to try and control something.
At first I channeled this energy into researching holistic treatments — I am blessed to be one short phone call away from some of the most regarded healers in the world. But she was rarely interested in taking their advice. I then became obsessed with planning a trip with my mom. I talked to her about going to the beach or maybe renting a lake house somewhere. I told her we could do whatever she wanted, even though I was planning things that I wanted. But all of those ideas were met with a monotone I’ll think about it.
I struggled because I had such a clear vision of how I might want to spend my days if I were in her place. I envisioned us sitting in rocking chairs by the ocean. We would be wrapped in blankets, feeling the cool ocean winds, laughing together, crying together, sipping tea and reminiscing. But she genuinely did not want that, preferring instead to spend time cocooned in her room.
One day I was on the phone with a friend, lamenting about the decisions my mom was making. I just couldn’t understand it. Why doesn’t she want to re-enact scenes from the movie Beaches with me? I would be making such different choices if I were her! My friend sweetly pointed out that everyone handles illness in different ways, and she is entitled to do what she likes. It was a challenge, but I knew that my friend was right. I needed to honor how my mom wanted to go through this experience.
So I honored her wishes in the best way I knew how. There was one thing that did seem to bring her joy and that was drinking a milkshake. Once we figured this out, I would get on the phone with my Mom from Los Angeles as often as I could and we would decide what the flavor of the day was. She would excitedly tell me what she wanted. She would give me very specific instructions as to how she liked it (there was to be NO whipped cream or toppings, and it should be more creamy than frosty). We would discuss the differences between one shake versus another, debating their merits and shortcomings. But for a woman who struggled with her weight and body image her whole life, embracing her milkshakes guilt-free was incredibly liberating.
I have learned many things from my mother. I truly believe that my empathy and my ability as an intuitive person is a direct byproduct of her unconditional love and support of me.
Reading people’s stories about her in the past few days have been so lovely. And the sentiments are all the same. Your mother loved me unconditionally. She was kind to me when no one else was. I love hearing these things because I know them to be true.
My mother also suffered with mental illness. This is something that I have hinted at in my books and teachings. Out of respect I have only given the broad strokes of her story because at the time it was her story to tell. Now that she is free from physical form I know in the future I can begin to honestly tell her story and teach people the energy management techniques that I developed from our relationship and journey together.
The truth is, my mother spent the last two years of her life in a small room and never left. She voluntarily never got out of bed. As much as I tried to remember that it was her process and her choice, I would still break down occasionally in frustration. My visions of being at the beach with her would turn into me saying “why don’t we go outside and get some fresh air?” When she said no to that, I would ask if she wanted to go to the dining room and have a meal as a family? And lastly, I asked if she just wanted to get out of bed and sit in a chair? For every idea I pitched, she would smile at me from bed and say that she was content. And she was.
In bed she always felt safe. Her abusive childhood lead to severe anxiety about who could be trusted, and a remarkable sensitivity to her surroundings. As this last chapter came around, her choice was to be in bed, her safe place. She spent lots of time on the phone. My sister would visit her (with a milkshake of course) several times a week while David and I went to Dallas as much as we could.
When my sister called to tell me that it looked like her transition was near, David and I quickly hopped on a plane to be by her side. When I walked into her room, it felt like the air was knocked out of me. She looked peacefully asleep, but started to breathe in an agitated way when I spoke. It’s like she was fighting to wake up and be with us. She hadn’t asked for a shake in a few weeks. I opened her candy drawer to find 5 pounds of m&ms untouched.
The hospice nurse left and gave us time to be alone, in case there were things that needed to be said.
“Mom, I think it’s time” I said and stroked her hair.
“You’ve given me everything I could ask for. You succeeded in your greatest goal. You stopped the chain of abuse and raised a loving family. You did it.”
I knew she wouldn’t pass on with us in the room. It was too hard. Even in a semi-unconscious state I could feel her trying to stay in the room with us. After a long day of being with her, my sister and I stroked her hair, kissed her forehead and said, “We love you mom, it’s okay to let go.” She made her transition about 30 minutes after we left the room.
My vision now is that she is free from a body riddled with pain and a mind that trapped her in anxiety. I like to think that she’s free and enjoying a milkshake with god. I will carry on her energy of compassion. I will model her behavior of openhearted kindness and an ability to light up anyone’s face. And I will also when I am ready, begin to share more about her struggles and what we learned as her children.
I love you Mom.
79 Responses
I cried reading what you wrote. I lost my Mom last year (also far too young) and so much of your story mirrored mine, I’m so sorry – I know it’s hard. Truly no one knows how it feels until you lose someone dear to you, no matter how good or bad the times together were – it’s a major loss. Keeping you in prayers for healing, it’s a bit of a long road ahead, I’m not going to lie. I can say a year from now it will feel different. It still hurts, but it’s not devastating as it was at the time. God bless you.
Thank you Trisha. Love to you. ❤️
This was such a touching post, wow. Thank you for sharing ♥️♥️
Dougall,
Sending you love and healing energy. Unfortunately, I too understand how you are feeling. May you find comfort in your memories and time shared with your Mom…
Tracey
Dougal, how generous a heart you opened with your tender sharing.we are most grateful. Our warmest wishes to you and your family.
Dougal I cried reading this as well. I feel your pain as losing one’s Mom is one of life’s hardest journeys. Thank you for sharing such a personal time with us and for writing it so beautifully. Sending you giant hugs and lots of love 🌹
I heard her voice the other day, as she would be coming around the corner of the salon for her hair appointment. She hollered daughter daughter in her New Yorker voice and I replied what Maw. I have past that on with my daughter over the years. Thank you for sharing her with me! Best regards for your family!
Dearest Dougall,
Please know that you’ve been sharing space in my heart since I’ve read that your mother had passed.
I appreciate you sharing what you have been going through with the process of your mother dying.
My mother passed away 12 years ago. She was also diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Your words in many ways reminded me so much of my own mother with the gifts she had passed on, the abuse, her long standing depression and anxiety, love of milkshakes and wanting to just be with her care the way she wanted it. I was my mother’s care giver.
There are many lessons that I have learned from this experience. And they came to me through out my years of grieving. But I’m not here to share these with you now. These will come to you as time passes through your heart and soul, grieving (the depth of your love for your mom) as you will.
Your passage has stirred up emotions for me for you and the very similarities that our mothers shared. I still somedays want to go back to that hospital and be with my mother, caring for her. It was the closest I’ve ever felt with her and I’ve never really experienced that before.
I appreciate you. I appreciate your mom. I appreciate your relationship and your grief, opening up to share with the world your truth of love and grief.
May heaven and earth hold you and surround you with abundant love and healing. I will continue to hold space for you in my heart.
Warmth and kindness,
Karen Marwil
I’m so glad she brought you into this w orld! The next time I have a milkshake I’ll think of her.
Thank you dear Dougall for sharing. It is such a deep event to lose a parent, can’t be known until it is… Lost my mom almost a year ago, in a similar way. Feels like you got a good last time for all involved. That is such a gift, that gives peace and freedom for the rest of life. Love to you.
It’s beautiful. Thank you.
Dougall, what an amzing tribute to your mother. God bless you and your family. And thank you for sharing about a very sacred part of you… and your mother. We know that she is now at peace and I’m sure very proud of you as her wonderful son. I’m truly sorry for your loss. We just loss my mother in law unexpectedly this year – it’s never easy.
Hi Dougall.
What a loving and touching story and I’m so sorry to hear about your dear mother. Your words come at the perfect moment. I’m going to share this with my wife, whose mother is in the last stages of life while holding on to painful and hurtful memories. I’m sure that this will help my wife understand HER mother’s thought processes at this moment. I know that I now have a better understanding.
Thank you, Dougall and we wish and your family all the best.
Thank you Danny. Sending your family much love.
Wow. Thank you for your willingness to share your journey. It’s been 22 years since my dad died, suddenly and without an obvious (at the time) warning. And, the things I learned about him after the fact challenged all of my assumptions about him and many about my mother. It’s been a long, hard road for me, in that respect, but I can finally say that events before and after his death – our 1st relaxed conversation as adults, & a feeling of my being wrapped in pure love for the next 4 days – helped me find a bit of closure with him. They also set the stage for my liberation, but I didn’t see that until 20-2 years later. I’d say, look for signs and be open to what comes to you, but I suspect you already do that! So, it’s wonderful that you had such a great opportunity to be there and to go through that process with family and friends. God bless you, and may you keep on feeling and sharing as deeply as you do. (Or something better, if you like!)
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother.
I too cried reading your tribute to your mom. What a sweet son you are and showed her respect through her journey as difficult as it was. God has this precious soul back with him and she is truly free of all that burdened her in this life. Sending you healing and comfort. Sorry for you loss.
My heart felt condolences to you and your family Dougal❤️!
What a beautiful tribute of your love to your mother. God bless you, your family and loved ones
Oh Dougall,
It is so hard to say goodbye to our most cherished. ThanK you for sharing so much I resonate as I care for my 94 year old father and 90 year old mom. And my mom has to have her cappuccino chiller on a regular.basis too. Love and hugs Siggy
Your words about your mother are so truthful and sincere. Thank-you for sharing your experience with such an honest open heart. She will most definitely be guiding you from the other side, feeling pride for you and sharing her divine wisdom.
Much love and blessings to you and your family during this difficult time. Xo
Thank you for sharing such an emotional journey with us, Dougall. You told your story in such a loving and honoring way. I was reminded of being there for my beloved aunt Rosa when she departed — I still get emotional. I just want to say, until the moment you meet your Mom again, may her light shine for you in wonderous and loving ways far beyond she could do in human form. Peace and Love to you and your family. From your faithful follower x
I am so sorry for your loss, Dougall. What a heartbreaking experience for you all. Lots and lots of love, honey.
Thank You Dougall for sharing your mum’s pain and your pain also. I, too, had envisioned many ways my mum ‘should’ live her last days and I was astonished when I realised they were my ideas not hers….In truth my mum died of a broken heart although her death cert said Lung cancer…my Father died aged 52 and she was 49. Her only wish was to be reunited with him…On the day she transitioned I realised she was finally free…Free of the earthly things that she felt contrived against her every day…Freedom for my mum and your mum was long awaited…. hard for us who are left behind but eventually we get it. My love and prayers for you and your family and to David too…May your mum blossom now in her freedom and in peace ♥️
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story of your mom. I am so proud of you for turning your desires to your mom’s desires. The most loving gift you could have given her was in honoring her end of life wishes. The journey ahead for you in grieving will take as long as it takes. Don’t minimize the process. Cherish the memories… nurture yourself….lean on those who love you. You and your family will be in my prayers.
What a beautiful story Dougall! Your mother is free. She is so loved. Thank you for sharing this with us. Sending you lots of love and blessings!
Wow! Your post took my breathe away, and filled my eyes with tears of compassion. My Mom was my very best friend, who transitioned in 2011 at a very young age of 69. I hold you and your family up in prayers. A mother’s love and devotion never dies.
Blessings. Karla
What a heart felt letter. Thank you.
Dear Dougall, it is always difficult when someone we love passes. However, you did the most loving thing you could, which is to provide her with a “Good death“. Letting her do as she wished was a loving act. She is at peace. It will take time for you to feel your peace in relationship to her passing, but by continuing to love it will happen. All my best, Anita
Losing my Mom was by far the most powerful emotional process of my lifetime. All of your life, you know that one day this will happen, but truly nothing can prepare you for the actual event.
My heart, my love & all of heaven’s blessings are with you & your family now.
My only advice is FEEL your feelings! When those waves of grief hit, go with it, cry it out till it passes. Don’t talk yourself out of being in the feeling because it’s inconvenient. You’ve got to go through it & let the grief have you to heal it. That process takes time & it’s on your own individual time line. All my love to you & yours.
This is so beautiful, it moved me to tears. God bless you & your sweet Mother. 💗🙏🏻
Oh my God…. I’m in tears. What a beautiful story of a beautiful person. I lost my Mom 5 years ago & a day doesn’t go by when I don’t love her & talk to her. So beautiful that you shared a similar loving relationship that you will never forget. She will always be with you. 💝
Dear Dougall – such beautiful words of candidness and honesty. You already know how I feel. Humongous hugs to you, my friend.
Thank you, Dougall, for sharing this so intimate experience in your life. I feel you are such a loving human been and give us that. Everyday I practice something I have learn from you and send my love and gratefulness. Now I know your mother is part of this so my gratefulness goes to her, too.
My heart is with you. It’s such a soul journey that can only be traveled alone. Love will carry you through the rough times and the memories will be your light to carry. All my hugs and love to you.
Blessings always
Anna
Sorry to hear of the changes (don’t like loss :)!
Not only is writing great for your release (personally) but your writings and teachings will help many.
May you release from the suffering and live in the joy of knowing and loving 🙂
Best,
Alan
I love changes versus loss. Thank you. 💚💚💚
Thank you for sharing your story Dougall
It’s tough time.
Lost my mom, my best friend last year.
Big transition. I keep her memories alive telling stories, sharing photos.
Life is never the same.
XO betsy
Dougall — You exhibited your dear mom’s energy for compassion right there with her, allowing her to be just as she wished to be in her safe and comfortable place. What a beautiful testament of your own open-hearted kindness, following what she knew she needed. You leave me smiling with a mental picture of her telling the angels exactly how she wants her milkshake, “ NO whipped cream or toppings, and it should be more creamy than frosty”! Love and Blessings galore. . .
My heart goes out to you Dougall. I too have gone through this pain and no matter how old you are or how old your mother is, when she passes you feel like an orphan. Mothers are the dearest people on earth. It was definitely my hardest transition to come to terms with. I just want to give you a little advice. Please be good to yourself. This is an exhausting time and you need to take care of yourself as if your mother were talking to you as a little boy so that you would get well. Big hugs to you. PS I love listening to you on the house.
Wow! I could not stop crying. This was so beautiful what you wrote about your Mom! We have some similarities here. Our Moms are not suffering in pain anymore. I love your work and especially the unconditional love you have for others. Colors are one of the most powerful healing and guidance the Universe offers all of us and you are an amazing teacher leading the way. BTW, your mom was always proud of you and she still is in heaven. I could hear her giggle about the M&Ms.
Thank you for being here for all of us.
Blessings
A lovely tribute to your mom. I am sorry for your loss – you and your family are in my thoughts. Hugs…
With 19 people dying before I was 21, I got an unexpected PhD in death. (It got so I did not want to answer the phone. There’d be a silence and then, “You haven’t heard yet, have you?” Oh gosh, who now, I’d think.
Anyhow, what I learned was that people come up to or down to 35 years old. So when you meet them in the EtheReal or in DreamLands, they won’t be old and haggard, but about 35. I remember I kept seeing this woman & thinking, “Who the heck is that??”
Now, Aunt Mary, the ancient headmistress of my tiny boarding school in the middle of Maryland NoWhere, was brilliant & a Shakepeareanally classic hag of wispy grey hair, a hump, & so forth. She looked like they’d taken her out of a pyramid & unwrapped her — that old. They didn’t have colored photos when she was young. I’d actually never seen her in any young photo.
So I remember finally clapping my hand to my forehead about this young woman I kept tripping across in the EtherLands, finally. “Oh it’s Aunt Mary!!” (We weren’t related. In the South, this was a typical honorific for older widows.) Then I began to notice that all the folks I’d known at various ages in DayReal were about 35. So if and whenever you’re checking out your dear mother, after a spate of her being tended and healed by Kind Transitioners, she’ll probably look about 35. (You definitely got her deep kindness, by the way.)
I loved your heartfelt post. I lost my mom a few days earlier on August 22. I’m at the stage where for brief moments throughout the day I think, I need to call my mom or I want to call and tell her something.
I’m glad your mom did things her way, and how loving that you all allowed that.
Looking forward to reading more of her story and yours. ❤️
Thank you Dougall, the timing of me reading this is impeccable. I just learned my youngest sister Diane has inoperable Stage 4 pancreatic/liver cancer and she is refusing the western medical model of chemo and radiation. I will give her energy treatments and support her as she walks her journey. But we know how this will end. I love that your mom stood for her own comfort And I’m proud of you for letting her make those decisions. We all have a story going on in our lives, let’s continue being kind to one another. In peace, Debra
Dougall, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your mother’s final years. You helped me understand more about the death of my brother Barry and sister in law Sue. They had a common bond with Carol that I was never able to join, and will always feel that I missed something great. Phil
Dougall,
I have many great memories of your mom. She was awesome!! Please give Tarrin my best. Robbin Rossi
Thanks Robin.
Thank you for sharing this with us, Dougall. What a beautiful tribute. The title of your post brought a huge smile to my face. So sweet to think of your mom enjoying her milkshakes pain-free. Take exceptional care of yourself during this unpredictable ride that is grieving. Know that there are many of us around the world holding you with lots of love.
That has to be the most honest, sincere, vulnerable and loving thing I’ve read in awhile. Thank you for sharing your mother, your moments and your journey. I’m sure your Mom is so proud of you. Sending you much love ❤️
I love you, Mom. Yes, I do, and thank you.
Dougall, my heart breaks for you at this time. Sending lots of love!
I’m sending you so much love and light and healing as you grieve the passing of your mother, Dougall. It must have indeed been very painful and frustrating to watch your mom shelter herself in her room; I’m glad that you came to understand why she chose to do that. My own mom died in a car crash about 18 years ago, no time for goodbyes, so I know how challenging it is to move through this particular loss. It does lessen and shift over time, and the missing goes on all the time.
May your heart be filled with peace. May you know deep joy and acceptance. And yes, I’m sure there are milkshakes in heaven!
Dougall, thank you for painting such a heartfelt picture of your mother with all of us. That took courage and love. Sending you and your family much love and healing energy at this time. I know it’s going to be a transitional time for you as well. Thank you for sharing. xoxo
Dougall thank you for sharing your beautiful story…my heart and love go out to you and all of your family (mother included). And know that through your story you are helping many…my mom transitioned April 15th and in reading your story more tears, laughter, healing and sharing of love has taken place.
With much love and gratitude,
Cynthia
Dear Dougall. As I read your story my eyes filled with tears because I felt I was reading my story. You see your mums struggles sound a lot like mine. It would be my wish just to spend time with my children to talk and just be their. My thoughts are with you so much ❤️ Know that you only have to place your hand on your heart and mum is there.❤️
That is so beautiful …such a loving fitting tribute to a diamond..precious and built under all that pressure but with all those facets and beautiful light …it’s so beautiful when we get beyond the flaw in our relationships with diamonds …I know the beauty of this diamond relationship is so polished …Thank you for sharing
Love to you all
M xx
This is a beautiful story of learning how to allow others to live life and end of life on their terms. It teaches us so much. It is very helpful for me to understand this. Thank you for sharing. Love and Light to you, David and your family.
Sorry to hear about your mom’s passing. My dad died a few weeks ago. For years, he refused to leave his house or let help come in other than a cousin, which we tried to convince him to do. His wish was always to stay at home and that is where he wanted to die. Just days after his 103rd birthday, he had a massive stroke – I found him unconscious in his bed. When we got to the ER and I found the extent, all I wanted to do was grant his wish to die at home. He was placed overnight in the hospital hospice room and the next day we met with the hospice nurse and arrangements were made to bring him home. We wanted more time to prepare the house for him, but things just seemed to conspire against our plans and we brought him home hours sooner than we had planned (we expected to go mid afternoon – I was sitting with him in his hospital room and was told around noon that the ambulance was on the way !). We got him home and with the help of the hospice nurse, we got him cleaned up and comfy. He died peacefully at home just hours after we got him home – where he wanted to be. If things had gone according to our plans, we might not have gotten him home in time – things just seem to happen the way they need to at times.
This is so beautiful.It touched me beyond words.Thank you Dougall. Sending you and your family healing thoughts .
Weird how my heart can feel both so heavy and so lifted at once. I miss both of you right now.
How beautifully unsurprising that you learned to love your mom in exactly the way she wanted to be loved. She modeled that pretty well, and I love that you were able to reciprocate when she needed it most. I’m going to practice that and dedicate the practice to you and yours. Sending love.
Dear Dougall,
You have such a gift for words. As I read your tribute, I heard her laughter. The last time I saw her was at your wedding. We had talked on the phone about a ring that belonged to Great Grandma Valkenburgh. She said she always wished that she could have that ring to remind her of her grandmother. I found the ring and gave it to her that day. I hope it gave her much joy.
I also remember when she came to the funeral of one of “The Aunts”. We all went to Lee’s house. I remember sitting beside her and listening to her stories and yes her laughter. She was an amazing woman.
I also remember calling her when my son came out. I did not want to screw it up as his mom, so I called your mom. She was kind and gracious and talked to me about what it all meant and that nothing changes. You love your children unconditionally and celebrate who they are. She taught me that. She also shared you with me. For that I am grateful.
I will keep you and Tarrin in my prayers and will keep her in my heart.
Thanks Sharon ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing your journey with your mother. It touched me deeply. My dad died of cancer 22 years ago and even though we had a challenging relationship, it was very painful to watch. But I knew he was finally at peace, like your mom. Through my grief process, I found that I had feelings bubbling up much longer than I expected and much longer than people who had never experienced loss understood. It is totally appropriate to feel however you feel for as long as you feel it. Be very, very patient and gentle with yourself. I am sending love and healing to you, David and your family.
Dear Dougall,
You write this so touching, it brings tears to my eyes. So many beautyiful lessons here. I find it very hopeful to know that one person can break a cycle. Much love and blessings to you, your loved ones and your Mom. Thank you for sharing, Thank You for being, Thank You.
Thank you for sharing this, Dougall. Sorry to hear about your struggles… amazing how losing someone is more about us than them… the natural course. We should be happy they are going to a better place, as they say, but it’s still hard. Although we know they’ll be watching over us and be with us all the time now it’s still sad that they won’t be here in physical form. I miss my mom every day although she shows me she’s here with various signs. Always makes me smile. I love you and what you do. Saw you on a cruise ship years ago, right after you wrote your first book (I think). One day I hope to meet you while you’re in Dallas. Thinking about you as you work through this transition in YOUR life.
What a beautiful tribute to your mom,told so lovingly.
Absolute beautiful story and experience of helping your mom transition…thank you for sharing
Thank you for sharing this, Dougall. I know it’s been a hard past couple of years, and these past days must have been even more so. Your details about her life and your dynamic with her are so powerful and instructive to me. Sending my love to you, David, and the rest of your family.
Jeff
My dad died of stage 4 pancreatic cancer on August 20th. I’ve been drinking milkshakes with my sister ever since. It was something we did with my dad on weekends. As I prepare for his funeral this weekend, I’ll try to bring some of your light with me. And I send my light to you as we process being on this planet without our parent. With love, L
Sending you so much love Leslie. Thank you for your comment. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Dear Dougall,
I had been thinking about you for no reason since past few days,and I now know why.We have never met,as I live on the other side of the world in Nepal but your books and YouTube videos have made you a part of my life.
am sure your mother was proud of you and you have immortalised her in this world with her stories in your book.
Love and Hugs from Nepal
Thank you Ajay for your kind words. I hope to visit Nepal some day. 💜💜💜💜
That is so beautiful. Big weeping here! I wish you peace and comfort as you continue on your journey with your Mom. It will be different, but it will always be full of unconditional love. Remember to stay gentle and patient with yourself as you transition through all of this. Much love and big hugs!💗🙏🤗
When he came to me in my dreams, he told me that change is inevitable. What I’ve realized since then is that my friend David was not only talking about his passing but ALL of life’s journeys. I’m so sorry for your pain.
Thank you so much for sharing Dougall… it was such a beautiful and touching tribute to your loving Mom, expressed in such a gentle, caring and heartfelt way.
There is a poem that a Hospice volunteer posted on few days ago, that seem appropriate to share … Much love ♥
When you meet someone in deep grief
“Slip off your shoes
and set them by the door
Enter barefoot,
this darkened chapel
hollowed by loss,
hallowed by sorrow.
its grey stone walls
and floor
You, congregation
of one
Are here to listen,
not to sing.
Kneel in the back pew,
make no sound
Let the candles
speak.”
♥
– Patricia Mckernon Runkle
That was so beautiful and touching. I’m sorry for your loss.
Dearest Dougall, I put a note on your Instagram too but this is the first I read this entire story. Like everyone else, I’m crying like a child as if I’m wearing your shoes. My own mama is passing ever-so-slowly from dementia and I relate well to a lot of what you have been sharing with all of us (SO generously and kindly) for this duration. I am so sorry for your loss and your sadness, and just wish to remind you that from where your mama sees you now, she is smiling and so very proud of you. You have the best of her in you, she continues to live through your gorgeous spirit. Take good care of beautiful you, and thank you so very much for sharing so openly and deeply with us – you touch my life and so many lives in profound ways, thank you. Sending much love.
Dougall, I had a reading with you shortly before my mother passed Jan 18 2018. I had gotten back Friday from seeing her and our appt was around the first week in January.
I was so raw.
I am so grateful that you shared your experience. I can relate so much with the things you wanted to do with your mom and the why don’t they want to.
Everything we know and think we can handle just goes out the door till we…..have to surrender. And it still hurts.
I love your work, your voice. I hope you always stay helping us with your gift. And I look forward to hearing about your mother and what you went through. Because truly, right down to your voice, you are really good at what you do. And I enjoy listening to you. ❤️💕