Last week David and I made the decision to end our month-long work trip to Japan early. Although the number of people with Coronavirus in Japan was much lower compared to other countries, rumors started swirling that Tokyo would soon be placed on lockdown. The Japanese government began warning foreign travelers that if we didn’t leave we may be stuck there for an unexpected duration of time.

We absolutely love Japan and have been going for almost 5 years. I feel blessed to have made some dear friends in Japan, and we both agreed that we would be comfortable even if we did have to stay longer. Although we joked that it was a perfect opportunity to finally become fluent in Japanese, in our hearts we knew that the right thing to do was return home.

That particular travel day will be stored in my memory for years to come. After checking in for the flight and walking up to security wearing our masks, we realized that we were the only people in line. Duty free stores stood eerily empty except for their few employees. Restaurants and coffee stands were shuttered. I have never seen an airport that empty, both in Tokyo and Los Angeles.

As we boarded, I counted a little over 20 people getting on the plane. The flight attendants were incredibly sweet and helpful, although I could perceive that they were nervous. They asked us to choose our seat – any seat we wanted – and sprayed it down with alcohol before we sat down. They wore masks and gloves the entire flight – they also cleaned the bathroom after every single use.

During the 10+ hour flight the cabin was silent. There were no families talking, babies crying, and barely any movement at all but for the gentle hum of the engine. It was somehow both calming and stressful at the same time.

I decided to do a meditation to relax and also to prepare myself for an unknown duration of being self-quarantined after we got back. Of course meditation is helpful in any circumstance, but these days it is absolutely essential. We had been self-quarantined already in Japan, but it seemed like it might feel different in our own home. As I pondered this concept, I’m also profoundly grateful that it doesn’t change all aspects of my life that dramatically. David and I already work together from home and have done so for the last 10 years. 90% of our workday is already spent on zoom. Admittedly we are homebodies too, and yet I still had a little sense of anxiety.

I think for me (and maybe you too?) this anxiety keeps coming back to a lack of ability to plan right now. I love to plan, doing so brings me an immediate sense of comfort and is also a great way to manifest. And as long as I know what is on the horizon, it’s easy for me to manage or cope.

Personally I’d rather something definite when it comes to quarantine. If we need to stay home till June, well I can plan for that. But the open-ended nature of this is so disorienting. How can we create a sense of normalcy if there’s no way to plan?

In this situation, I’m discovering that my planning nature is actually becoming part of the shadow side of my being. What I mean is, sometimes our “good” qualities can actually work against us in different circumstances. In this case, wanting to plan is the part of me that likes control. Our shadow side is a powerful force that can masquerade as a positive quality, all while throwing us from our center.

The obvious lesson here is to focus on releasing control, because what other choice do we have? But I also decided to consciously incorporate anything that brings me joy. This is my way of overshadowing the shadow- so to speak.

I started asking myself what brings me joy? What makes me smile and helps me to easily disconnect from the worries of the outside world.

Ironically, the first image that came to me was a twinkling Christmas tree! This is odd I know, but I decided to run with it.

This past year David and I happened to buy our first artificial tree. As a “real tree” enthusiast I resisted this idea for years. We had already been talking about the fact that it seemed wasteful to buy a real tree only to have it in our house for one month before throwing it out. But I finally caved when David enthusiastically showed me that we could switch from white lights to color and back with one click.

My favorite part of any holiday is the inherent excuse to disconnect with the outside world, and reconnect with ourselves. I watch less news, talk more with family, cook soothing meals and of course stare at the twinkling tree.

A few days after getting home, we decided to go into the garage and get the tree out of storage. We didn’t decorate it with any ornaments because I wanted to save that for the actual holiday. But right now having a little sparkle in the center of our home gives me a boost of joy any time I look at it.

It’s also a gentle reminder that many aspects of our routine are being interrupted right now and that is okay. We are all adjusting as best we can given these very challenging circumstances.

I truly believe now is the moment to receive every bit of joy we can get. Allow your heart to remind you what makes you smile. It might be something random like our tree, or it might be something completely different. Try not to judge anything that comes up for you. Bake if you love to bake. Sing if you love to sing. And by all means I highly suggest breaking out some twinkling lights if they make you feel good.

This week also brings Passover to our house, a holiday that we normally celebrate. However, having just returned from international travel we aren’t allowed to be in public for 7 more days. This really limits our ability to complete a seder plate, but our first priority is to be responsible

So we’re getting creative. Being flexible is the key to releasing control, as it helps to bring that shadow side into the light.

Although we may feel like all of our planning is being interrupted, see if you can access your heart to move into whatever brings you joy. I’d love to know what works for you!

With that in mind I have decided to host a free webinar on Tuesday, April 14th at 2pm PST. This will be a casual way for us to support each other and have a moment of colorful meditation. You can join me by scrolling down and entering your info below, or check it out here if you prefer. I’d love to connect with you.

It also gives me something to plan for… See I did it again.

Much Love,