​I think it’s human nature to strive for our personal best. We live in a goal-oriented society, and all of us have aspirations that echo in our brains. As a child, you may have received a trophy for playing soccer; perhaps you were given a badge for tying the perfect knot as a boy or girl scout. You may not even know that you are reading the blog of someone voted “Best Dressed” at Summer camp! This desire to feel accomplishment follows us for most of our lives. There is even an entire community that honors people who can eat the most hot dogs in one sitting. Human beings desire greatness, but have you ever wondered why?

During my journey in the New Age and Self-Help community, I was certain that I could achieve any goal as long as I envisioned it. If I chanted, dream boarded, and cleared my chakras, the world would be at my finger tips.

When my first book, But You Knew That Already was published, it was by far the biggest professional accomplishment of my life. As a high school drop out, I felt that I would experience a huge sense of satisfaction if a publisher wanted to print my story. Being published would give me a real sense of purpose. I set the intention and worked hard to create it. And to my delight, at the age of 26 I achieved my goal of being a published author. It was an interesting experience to see how quickly my joy and gratification moved into a laser focus on the next goal. I barely gave myself a moment to breathe, and like a junkie I needed to find the next high. My mind (and my ego) decided that being a published author was no longer good enough. Now, I needed to be a New York Times Best selling author! Surely then I would feel good enough. And let’s not forget the $5,000 a week bonus that was in my contract if and when I hit that list. That’s seductive!

As my publication date grew closer, I became obsessed with my mantra. I changed the screen saver on my computer at home and at the office. I typed out dozens of little sheets of paper that said I am a New York Times Bestselling author! Every morning, I saw my affirmation taped to my alarm clock. I was greeted with my mantra taped to my bathroom mirror. I practically wallpapered my house with it.

I was certain that this was the last step, and that there was nothing left for me to do. I would “Secret” my way to a best seller. The book was in production. The plane tickets for my seven-city tour were booked. Now it was a mere matter of esoteric alignment.

Imagine my astonishment when I did not hit the New York Times bestseller list. After my book tour and launch, I fell into a mild depression. I felt like I had let my publisher down. Even though I had met hundreds of people who complimented my work and gave me feedback on what they learned, I only seemed to think of not achieving my goal.

My mind had flurries of thought as to how this might be my fault. Maybe I didn’t place it on my vision board properly? Perhaps I could have meditated harder on trying to create my goal? Had Mercury been in retrograde? Then one day in meditation it finally hit me. I had missed out on this entire experience by being so focused on a specific goal. I started asking myself how I wanted to feel professionally. When I found my center and really focused on it, the answer was simple. I want to feel confident, content and accomplished.

It was like a lightning bolt to my head. I had spent six full months engaging in a very specific fantasy of what it meant to feel confident, content and accomplished. My mistake was telling the Universe that I could only feel happy once this specific thing happened. I hadn’t even given myself permission to realize that all along, what I really wanted was right in front of me. Someone please start playing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and call me Dorothy. Where the heck are those sparkly red slippers?

Our brains are tricky little devils. They are capable of so much wisdom and yet all too obsessive as well. We start to use certain titles, body sizes, and dollar amounts to mark our place in the world. It can quickly take us out of the present moment and block us from other experiences.

How often have you tried to manifest or achieve something in your life, only to miss out on enjoying the process itself?  Have you become obsessed with having the perfect wedding or getting back in your “skinny” jeans? I find that using a simple process helps to avoid an unhealthy obsession. Here it comes: how do you want to feel?  We design our emotional structure in every waking moment. We have the power to shift from lacking, waiting and desperate to well-rounded, whole and happy.  The choice is ours.

It is spiritual law that like attracts like.  If you feel successful, you attract success. If you are lonely and passionless, your relationships will be the same. If you fill your day with love, passion and experience, you will attract those same things and people to you.

I have found most of my clients (myself included) can get caught in the waiting game. I was waiting for a new title to add to my life resume. I held my breath and waited so much, that I missed out on what was an already amazing achievement.  Nowadays I am incredibly proud and honored to be a published author, regardless of the list I am on.

This is true Cosmic Manifesting.