Fear is one of the most common topics that come up when working with my clients. No matter the area of life, every person on the planet has some form of fear. Please don’t let your brain trick you into thinking you’re the only one, because you are far from alone and I can guarantee it.

What I find interesting about our fear is how often it lies to us.

We might tell ourselves that we’re making the most practical decision when really it is just our fear, masquerading as concern, holding us back from an opportunity.

In the earlier days of the planet, this fight-or-flight response served a very useful purpose (mainly, not getting eaten by a predator). But in today’s modern world, that extra energy tends to manifest as stress or fear inside of us.

Unfortunately, modern society constantly inundates us with new fears to obsess over. Of course there are many world events to be concerned about, but how is it possible that “Breaking News!” can be happening every single time we turn on the TV?

Because of this, I find it really helpful to differentiate between rational fears and irrational fears.

To me, rational fears are those logical ones that we act upon to prevent some kind of physical harm. Examples would be not touching a hot stove or looking both ways before crossing the street. These fears are based in reality and keep us safe.

An irrational fear is one that is not based in reality, but that keeps us from taking action nonetheless. If we never step out of our comfort zone for fear of failing, well that sounds like an irrational fear to me. After all, failing is one of life’s greatest teachers and motivators!

I am a color intuitive who specializes in interpreting the meaning behind auras, and in my opinion fear is 100% a blue color. When I see blue in someone’s aura I know they are ready to receive truth and wisdom in all areas.

A “blue person” is open to seeing things as they really are rather than how they would like them to be. But the shadow side of blue is fear. If you have ever refused to accept the truth of a situation, you have experienced the shadow side of blue. Looking at it this way, we see that truth and fear are two sides to the same coin. To me, healthy blue energy feels like learning a valuable lesson.

Fear may seem like a simple issue to overcome, but it is often a major factor when deciding if we are going to take action or not. One issue is that we are often taught to think positively and only focus on the good. While I certainly believe in the law of attraction and positive thinking, it’s been my experience that ignoring a fear entirely only makes it bigger in our minds.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a fear of dating, fear of success, fear of failure, or anything else. If we refuse to acknowledge what we are fearful of, it will follow us like a big shadowy monster. And most times, the idea of our fear is much worse than the actual reality.

To illustrate this idea, I recently listened to (and highly recommend) an amazing NY Times podcast about a 10-year-old girl named Ella with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She had a long list of things that she feared, and it was keeping her from participating in many aspects of her life. One of her biggest fears involved vomiting, either doing it or being around anyone else who did.

Her mom decided to take her to a special children’s camp, where kids from all over come to confront their fears through exposure therapy. The idea is basically that camp organizers slowly introduce the fear in a controlled environment, to help the child see that the fear cannot hurt them.

One thing that really struck me was how they taught kids with OCD to deal with an obsessive thought or fear. The “Obsessive” part of OCD means that a fearful thought will endlessly repeat on a loop. And for most people with OCD, the most common reaction to this is to try and counter it by thinking the exact opposite thought.

For example, Ella’s fear would cause her to think, “I’m going to throw up” over and over. To cope with this, she would then say, “I’m not going to throw up” back to herself repeatedly as a way of responding to this frightening thought. The psychologists at her camp pointed out that disagreeing with the fear only gave it more power, because then it becomes a sort of inner argument that can never be won.

Instead of doing this, they suggested acknowledging the obsessive thought as a way to break that negative loop. So the next time she thought she was going to throw up, instead of fighting the obsessive inner voice she would tell herself, “yes, maybe I will have to throw up”.

Amazingly, doing this helped Ella break her obsessive thoughts! It is as though the moment she stopped running from it, the fear had to also stop chasing her. Facing Ella’s fear did not make it disappear, but it did teach her that she would be okay even if she does have to vomit one day.

This was fascinating to me as a member of the New Age community, because many of the teachings I have read suggest completely ignoring fearful thoughts and focusing on a positive outlook.

For me, it never worked to pretend that the negative thought doesn’t exist. This idea of engaging with (rather than ignoring) the fearful thought was inspiring and also in alignment with my experience.

I may not have OCD, but this fits so closely with how I view my approach to fear. The first step is to stop running, because otherwise it only creates more fear.

As someone who teaches mindfulness and spirituality, I sometimes find myself falling into the irrational fear cycle as well. If this happens, I meditate on truthful blue energy to get clear on whether or not this fear is serving me.

If there is a topic or decision that you are hesitating on, try visualizing the color blue in your mind as a sort of meditation. It does not matter what shade of blue or what it looks like in your mind, as long as you intend to see the color blue.

Once you feel ready, ask yourself if your fears are rational and in your best interests, or if they are irrational and just holding you back.

This is one way I face my fears and I find it very effective.

What about you, is there any irrational fear that might be holding you back right now? Let me know in the comments so I can support you! Acknowledging an irrational fear is the first step to stripping its power away and freeing yourself.