Have you ever noticed that it is often easier to pinpoint an issue with someone else than with ourselves? This is because we tend to reject or ignore our shadow sides.
In Jungian psychology, a “shadow” refers to any challenging aspect of our personality that we do not identify with or consciously see. The more we ignore or reject our “negative” shadow traits, the more they harden and persist in our lives.
In my intuitive work, I view the shadow sides of color energy in much the same way. I see auras around people, and those colors tell me all about your strengths. But just as every color possesses positive traits, there are also challenging shadow sides as well. A shadow side will persist in our energy for as long as we ignore or deny it.
Recently I announced my new program Embracing the Shadow, and I received several interesting emails from people asking for more detail about a shadow side. Mainly, they wanted to know if I would only be focusing on negative topics. And while the short answer is no, I thought it might be helpful to give you a personal example of how I have embraced and transformed a shadow side this past year.
The last year has been particularly challenging for me. I was hit with several curve balls that were totally unexpected. I have blogged before that my mother was diagnosed with a very aggressive and untreatable cancer.
I immediately moved into protective lion mode and made my mother the priority. I have always believed that my family and soul group come first. We have spent months speaking to cancer specialists, doctors, nurses, and health care advocates to figure out the best way forward. Living in a different state from my mom meant lots of flying back and forth. We speak on the phone every day, but there is a general feeling of helplessness that I experience. Having so much to focus on at this time, I neglected other parts of my life.
I stopped being diligent about eating well or exercising. Having lost 100 pounds of excess weight in my life, this is an important part of my life that I strive to maintain.
Neglecting our self-care is directly related to the shadow side of pink energy. I had been living with this shadow energy for a few months and it was starting to take a toll on me.
Friends would ask how I’m doing and I would immediately respond that everything is fine. I would say that I’ve got it all under control, without really thinking about whether that was true for me or not. I suppose this is a natural part of mobilizing to help a family member in distress.
But after a few months passed I started to get a soft whisper that my self-care had gone out the window. My pants began to get tighter and tighter, until one day I was getting dressed and nothing that I owned fit me.
This was a perfect example of the color pink reflecting its shadow side back to me. Pink is the color of love and self-care. But the shadow side can highlight when we aren’t taking care of ourselves.
I was learning so much from these situations in my life. Doing my best with my family to take care of our Mother and create the smoothest life transition as possible. But my self-care took the back seat.
This is when I decided to Embrace The Shadow that was presenting itself to me. I did this by not criticizing myself for putting on a few pounds — which would only exacerbate the shadow pink energy. Instead, I activated loving pink energy through meditation and gathered my strength. I reached out to several friends and said I needed help. I told David I really wanted to embrace my self-care and start eating well again. I decided to download a food and calorie tracking app all in the effort to Embrace My Shadow.
I am happy to say I have been getting back on track and once again maintained my self-care.
This is exactly what my intention is with my new online program. Yes, it was a challenging year. And perhaps you too had a curve ball or two.
But I have also learned so much about myself, and these challenges have played a role in that learning.
I am stronger than I ever imagined.
I was able to make my physical care a priority without it getting out of hand.
Most importantly my family is able to loving care for my mom — and we continue to do so.
Much Love,
P.S. Click here to check out my brand new program Embracing The Shadow!
7 Responses
Wow, Dougall, you continue to be an inspiration to us all. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability in a way that empowers us to fully be ourselves—including the messy parts. Love your work, love you. Holding you and your family in much light and prayers.
Thank you so much for the kind words Miko!
Looking forward to working with you again Dougall. Your year is a mirror image of mine. I committed to caring for my mom in 2013 and moved her to live with me. I literally put my well being aside during the last few years. After seeing her through many falls, a cancer diagnosis, surgeries, and a fractured leg and hip, she now resides in a skilled nursing facility. I made sure every step of the way she had the best care and advocated for her constantly. This year has brought many physical challenges for me. In working through those challenges, I have identified and now practice new healthy boundaries that allow me time to take care of myself. I have learned to continue those healthy boundaries by not taking on her issues as mine. Being an empath has made that an even bigger challenge. Surrendering her to God and realizing I deserve to be healthy has helped me to get back on track with my life. Being honest in how I’m really feeling about these challenges has also given me a voice of truth. I have learned to forgive my family and let go of resentment for their lack of participation in her life and care. I have received the most criticism from family who have been the least involved in my mom’s life. What I have learned is that we are not created to give all of ourselves away while serving others. Our personal well being should always be our priority so that we can stand strong and in our truth as life’s challenges surface for us to deal with. By embracing our shadow side we allow the Light to bring healing to us. Over a year ago I enrolled in your Master Color Coach Certication class. Embracing the gift of color (the positive and shadow side) has brought healing, and powerful shifts to me this past year. Our class and the use of color has been a powerful catalyst for positive forward movement in my life. My mom is not the first person to help me with these lessons. I also lost my father and husband to cancer.
Every day is a chance to take a stand for ourselves and our own well being. When we face our challenges and heal ourselves, our Light becomes brighter. As we heal ourselves, we help heal the world. The more Light we hold, the more we can share.
I am so grateful for what I have learned from Dougall and the many people who have been my teachers in the school of life.
Sending waves of loving pink energy to you.
Blessings,
Mary Schmutz Hiestand
Thank you for this message. Doing my best to take care of myself. Something feels missing, and deeply isolating. It’s a challenge to eat, and a strong underlying terror that embedded in this body strikes frequently.
Any suggestions are welcome.
Many Blessings
A
Dougall and David, I’m excited for the new class too! Thank you for sharing your storey and I’m looking forward to hearing how things are going for you as I feel very parallel to you right now. I also let myself care go out the window this year, but like you I just downloaded the Lose It app and also signed up for the Peloton app and have been doing live rides on my bike and workout classes. I’m getting back to self care as well! Happy Holidays
I Love how Authentic and loving you are! Thank you for being an inspiration. I Love the work you do. Warmly, Raelene
Thanks for putting what your going through right now, here for us to read. I can relate and it reminds me I’m not the only one. Sadly i lost both parents within a year and a half of each other, as you say i slowly stopped taking care of myself, although i have gotten back on track and hopefully i continue. Your words of encouragement always help me. Thanks so much