As a spiritual teacher, I spend a lot of my day helping clients move past their blocks and encouraging them to connect with their souls so they can find joy. In my own daily practice I try to be mindful of my thoughts, and strive to focus on experiencing as much joy as I can. But what should we do when life gets in the way?
This morning as I was reading the news I was shocked to see yet another high profile actor being accused of sexual misconduct. “…accused of sexual harassment against a minor” read the caption.
My heat sank. I feel like I can’t keep track of the growing list of accusations that have come out in the last year. I have openly discussed my own history of being a childhood sexual abuse survivor, and occasionally certain stories will just trigger me. Today was one of those days.
I have been working on a new blog and my mind was jumping from topic to topic after watching the news. Although my intention is to uplift and inspire people, I felt like the topics were not reflective of what was really going through my mind. Today I felt a little sad and that is okay.
These days we have so many powerful tools for transformation at our fingertips. Many of you reading this are aware of the power of positive thought, and manifesting to create one’s reality. But at the same time, we live in a world full of other people who are on their own journey. I don’t know why some people choose to make choices that would hurt another person, except that they are on their own life path with their own set of lessons to learn. Which presents the question: what do we do when it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows?
I believe it is important to recognize moments where we feel sad or down. When we give words to our frustration, sadness, or depletion we aren’t magnifying it in our life. Rather we are breathing through it and ultimately letting it go.
I am a big believer in being mindful of the dominant thoughts of our day. I started my day reading another survivor’s story, and feeling empathy as well as profound sadness. I allowed my emotions to highlight where I have felt something similar in my life. I vented to David and a few friends about how deeply I felt all of these stories. But once these feelings were expressed, how could I shift my energy from that space?
The next step for me is the most pivotal. I find the best solution is to go outside and move my body. I put on my sneakers and we went straight to the park. The season is finally changing here in Los Angeles and the cool crisp air brought a smile to my face. As we walked the path at the park, my thoughts of sadness lifted and I felt hope.
I am proud of all of the brave people who are sharing these difficult experiences. I know it’s tempting to ignore these painful stories and not read them. I was even surprised to see on Facebook someone said “why do all of these sexual allegations have to be public? It’s none of our business.”
But, it is our business. The only way we can change the world is to have knowledge of what is actually happening in the world.
You can be a spiritual being and still witness pain in the world. With this in mind, here are a couple of tips for acknowledging and working through this kind of sadness.
- After you recognize the feelings within yourself, claim them to someone you love. Say it out loud, as in “I read this story in the news and it made me really sad because…” Express to them the feelings that are floating through you. It could be rage, sorrow, shame, regret, or anything else. This will help prevent the common occurrence of reading something upsetting in the news and then internalizing those feelings. This is probably the most important step you can take.
- Next, change your environment. Go for a walk outside (my personal favorite), take a bath, or cuddle with your pet. If you cannot physically change your environment (if you were at work, for example), listen to some music that calms you or makes you feel happy and safe. I offer a free color clearing audio series that you can download to change your energy. Simply subscribe to my newsletter and you’ll receive it in your inbox right away.
- Visualize color to help change your energy. You can pick any color that speaks to you, and then close your eyes while visualizing it for a moment. Two of my favorites are pink for unconditional self-love, and orange for balance and perception.
- Carry out an act of kindness. Pay for someone’s coffee. Buy a friend some flowers. Make a donation to charity. Simply put, be the kind of person you want to see more of in this magical world of ours. This proactive choice will not only make you feel better, but it will bring a smile to the person who is the recipient of your kindness.
When we are mindful of our dominant thoughts of the day it carves our space to have awareness of things that maybe aren’t that pleasant. We can hold space for the planet and our community. We can feel a variety of emotions and then reset with all of the beautiful tools in our tool box to make the dominant thoughts be of love, light and peace.
25 Responses
Thank you so very much for this. I truly needed this today. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and while I am cheering on these folks for standing up and speaking out, their stories hurt my heart. Your words will go a long way in helping to lift the heaviness. ❤️
After all I spent all yesterday in a funk I thank the universe for receiving this today. 💕💕
I did too! But we can shift our energy. 🙏🏼✨❤️
Thank you
Hugs & Love,
M
Thank you for your inspiring words of wisdom. My heart breaks & bleeds for all who have suffered, especially at the hands of another. I simply cannot understand how anyone can hurt children, animals or any human being. I wish I could hold them all in my arms and tell them one day when you are hopefully able to heal IT WILL BE OK!!!!!! I too have suffered, though not physically at the hands of another, I never thought my life would ever be ok again. But through much healing, forgiveness and support, I once again can see the light!
Thank you for your wise words. And your helpful tools. ❤️
❤️💙💚💜
I agree with Monique that any of us who are loving, caring people are simultaneously deeply saddened, and angered to hear about any person or animal who suffers abuse of any form. When we are young we trust those around us to guide us and keep us safe, and we usually don’t have a great deal of life experience. Therefore, we don’t always realize when an adult’s behavior may be out of the ordinary or just plain wrong and/or abusive. Quite often, we blame ourselves for how we were treated, and even worse, let it define us. It takes courage to say, “I was abused, and it wasn’t right, and I’m angry about it.” Forgiving ourselves (by realizing we didn’t cause or deserve the abuse) and loving who we are, can help heal the pain of the past. To everyone on this journey, I wish you love, peace of mind, and a strong, loving heart as you continue on your life’s path.
I too am a survivor of abuse, it was by the hands of my father who was a Pentecostal Evanglist as well as my mother who stood by and did nothing to protect me. I suffered sexual abuse as well as physical abuse and the worst of all verbal abuse which leaves invisible scaring. The abuse effected my life and choices I made. One of the best things I did was to write about my childhood I learned so much about myself as well as where some of my beliefs have come from, I also choose to release some of the false beliefs. I have worked on forgiving myself as well as my parents. I now see where some of my choices due to the abuse kept me from having the life of my dreams. In my opinion I believe it is time for this dirty secret to come to the light so their can be a healing and more awareness of the true cost of abuse. I am learning to love myself after all these years…. Blessings
I totally agree with your Yvonne. Sending you love and light.
You are so inspirational. Thank you for the tools to forgive and love ourselves a little more everyday. You are an amazing person. From my heart to yours. ❤️
I found your tips to be helpful for any kind of sadness or upset that requires shift in the energies. Thank you for this share.
You are a treasure Dougall! Your words, your insight and your spirit are a blessing to all.
Beautiful message! Thank you. 🌟🌟
Thank you Dougall,
It is so easy to demonize the “bad guys” in the news and to let that be an excuse for not moving forward on our own soul journey path. We can see the news, hear the news, empathize then shake it off and keep going to make the work more loving, more beautiful and moure humane. To me, that is a much better use of my day than dwelling on the “stuff” being rubbed in our faces.
My dogs are the best gift for shaking things off. They are always ready for a “Bunny hunt”. In some households that’s called a walk…
Good to be reminded that our energy can extend to shift not just ours but the “whole”. That’s empowerment that really serves us and in turn others. Reading these testimonies makes me see that sexual abuse is another dimension of a bully-action. Bullies learn to tread on weaker, kinder, more gentle souls. Thank you for guiding us to verbalize feelings, no matter, and to act as we may. It hurts to see people throw their power of selfishness over others. I also like the dog bit! Shaking things off on a walk/physicality within nature, breathing deep. Regardless of the types of pains felt that others inflict on the innocent — this all helps — love pink orange! And blues and green and purple all hues. Makes me feel good just thinking of them! Spreading it out to all beyond. Thanks.
Thank you Dougall. With all the public attention about sexual abuse, I am torn. On one hand I am strongly called to be a truth teller. On the other hand, telling the truth will hurt my children, as they deeply love their father, who was one of the abusers who broke my spirit, and blamed me for any/all problems we had.
For now, I am holding silence. It is only because I was both afraid to leave, and the abuse was Legal in South Carolina that the younger two children are here. I cannot regret that.
The abuse is hidden everywhere. Much Love for you and all of us who survived, or didn’t.
Wow! Thank you. I get so wrapoed up in the idea I must stay positive that I forget its not wrong to acknowlege unpleasant feelings. Life is contrasts this is what makes it interesting. But we get to choose where we put our attention. Thank you for your work and sharing the ups and downs.
Dougall-san, thank you very much. This is very helpful for myself and my clients. In Japan, we have had very sad and shocking news just recently. And some sensitive clients actually asked me how they could handle their unbalanced feeling after watching such news. I could convey this to them as a help! Thank you!
Hi Utsutsu! It’s good to hear from you. Sending you love! 💜💜💜
Wonderful, thank you for sharing.
Thank you Dougall, great writing. I was extremely abused as a child and went through many foster homes. It’s been a life’s journey that I have had to take to be where I am today. I am in a good place. I have learned to forgive others and myself, but yes I still have a hard time listening to the news, the tips you give are wonderful and I do most all of them to balance me out.
I have been running for a long time from who I am as an empath, intuitive and psychic and because of one of your classes I have taken (colored underwear lol) I am able now to embrace my gifts and talents. Thanks again for the great information !!
I am beginning to understand how my life choices were influenced by my past. I remember clearly the first time I used my tears (4th grade) to convince others of my innocence; which also made it ok to relieve myself of any responsibility for my actions. I always knew there were other reasons why I did what I did. Deep down it was my way of protecting my heart from receiving more abuse. Now 60, I am learning to place the responsibilities where they belong and move forward. At times the struggle is overwhelming. Through practice I now know my thoughts do not make it so.
I agree facing our fear-feelings and moving thru it will get you to the top of the mountain much quicker! it also helps get you back to the light and grounded to your own purpose!
Thank youXXXX
Dougall!