On every person’s spiritual journey, we are tested to help us learn. Occasionally, we invite frustrating people into our lives who challenge us to be stronger and stand up for ourselves. I have reiterated this lesson to clients for years now, yet I must admit that it stings when it happens in my life. I pride myself on searching for balance in all areas. However, learning compassion and forgiveness can be a hard lesson when we feel mistreated.
Recently, David received an invitation to a bar mitzvah on his side of the family. It was explained to us that I was not invited to the synagogue for services because it would create too much gossip within their religious community. I was, however, invited to the party the following day. When David put down the phone to explain the situation, we sat and stared at each other in silence. Flurries of thought went through my mind. I was angry. No, I was infuriated! I was deeply hurt that a family member would consider my mere presence in a holy institution damaging.
Ironically, David was relieved that the topic was on the table for discussion at all. In March David and I will celebrate our ninth year of being a couple. We have had many hurdles to overcome with family. We were first told that we would never be welcome together in anyone’s homes or at any family event. Members of his family initially said they would never accept nor meet me. David has a strong sense of family, however, and he has been extremely patient with them over the years. When we express this to some of our friends, it brings up a strong range of opinions.
“I’d tell them to go to hell!” cried one friend.
2 Responses
Hi Dougall, am thrilled for you getting published on the Huffington Post. I enjoyed reading your blog and found it actually quite in tune with some issues I have been dealing with around setting boundaries, having compassion and being in my truth – not easy at all – but necessary. I left you a comment in the Huffington Post Blog comments section. Haven’t seen you in years since you were up in Vancouver, Bc … I hope all is well with you. Congratulations on your continued success and for putting yourself out there … Lucy
I just heard about you through the Alan Cohen show and am exploring your web site and blogs. I loved the article and the truth that’s in it. It is both wonderful and scary to be a pioneer! I bless you and David.