I’ve had writers block. Or is it blogger’s block? Whatever it is, I’ve been blocked. My mind can conjure up a dozen good reasons as to why I haven’t written a blog in almost six months. Maybe it was reading some of the negative comments from the last blog that I wrote. Perhaps it was the lawsuit against me based on a previous blog (don’t ask). The truth is that once our minds get used to a specific identity, it can be difficult to change. For a long time I was in a good creative flow, and comfortable with the identity of being a writer. I would come up with ideas and the words would flow freely. I created goals and achieved them, like getting published on the Huffington Post.
Then life happens. I took a family vacation, and figured that I would stop writing to “recharge.” Time passed, and I noticed that new ideas were not popping into my head when I sat down to write. Slowly, my perspective transitioned from that of an author to a person with writer’s block. David would sweetly say, “How about we brainstorm ideas for a new blog today?” “You brainstorm ideas for a blog today,” I would sarcastically mumble like a 15 year old. Admittedly this was the not the most mature response.
I would lament with friends about having writer’s block, constantly saying things like, “I can’t think of anything. I’m not inspired. It feels like too much pressure.“ Without realizing it, I became comfortable with the identity of not writing. I spend a majority of my day advising people on how to jumpstart their lives. Whether it is career, love, or spiritual life, we are guaranteed to get stuck somewhere along the journey. The goal is to remind yourself to jumpstart your “engine.” Today, I swore to myself that I would blog. I know that writing will help me forge a new writer’s identity, even if my first blogs don’t flow freely from my mind. The dominant voice in my head will no longer be about the perceived block. I will push through the resistance and connect with my creative voice, understanding that the wheels may be a bit rusty at first.
Perhaps you have an area of your life that is blocked. Here are some simple ideas to jumpstart key areas in our lives.
Career: Unfortunately, many people can identify with being out of work. I often counsel clients who are struggling to find employment. Lawyers, teachers, real estate agents and so many others have been affected in this economy. These are all qualified people who need to feel an identity of productiveness. I was recently working with a coaching client who came to me after having been out of work for over two years. She was in her mid 30’s and had been laid off from a six-figure salary job in finance. “This week, I want you to call small companies in your town and offer to work a day there for free.” “What? Why on earth would I do that? Can’t you just give me an affirmation to help manifest a paying job?”
My client was pretty aggravated by this suggestion. Let me explain my process. If you are out of work, or even if your business is slow, your subconscious mind gets comfortable with an identity of lack. You start thinking of yourself as an unemployed person. You process it with your friends, family and in this case your coach. “I am out of work” repeats itself in your head, and this stagnant energy becomes a self-fulfilling manifestation. We have to shift that energy and get it moving. There are so many ways to feel productive during your day. Call your local soup kitchen and volunteer. Offer your services to a small business or non-profit organization for a short time. The goal here is to end the day thinking I worked today. If someone asks what you did today, the response will change from a demoralizing “nothing” to “I worked.” This will powerfully change the energy of your identity, and will help you to manifest work. At every job interview, the interviewer asks what have you been up to for the past two years. Your response will shift to a more positive place, because you will have been keeping busy and helping others at the same time. I have used this technique with my unemployed clients and have received an overwhelmingly positive response.
Romance: I recently had dinner at our friend Sharon’s house. Sharon was giving us details on her new adventures in online dating. She’s never had a significant relationship and was reluctant to “waste time” with the wrong guys. We scanned some of the profiles of people who asked her out, and joked about some of the inappropriate guys who had emailed her. I could feel her desire to find a good partner for herself, but she consistently turned down every date request for one reason or another. When I asked why she did this, Sharon kept returning to the idea that she didn’t want to waste time with someone who didn’t have the potential to be her soul mate. “You just need to go to a bar and make out with a cute guy,” I offered.
She seemed a little thrown off by that advice, but allow me to explain what I mean. Sharon was identifying as a single woman who was unlucky in love, and just couldn’t find a soul mate. If you are in a dating slump, you need to let the Universe know that you are open to finding love. I’m not encouraging you to go have a one night stand, or to do something that makes you feel unsafe. But sometimes, to increase your dating energy you need to just jump in there. Have a date with a nice person, and flirt to experience some chemistry. Don’t expect him to be your instant soul mate, and don’t start planning your wedding after one nice evening together. In fact, it is more likely that you will not find a perfect match right away. The point here is to be open to love, so that you can attract it from the Universe. And as far as wasting time, I prefer to look at every bad date as an opportunity to learn what you don’t want in a relationship. After all, you will appreciate it that much more when you do meet the right person.
If you are experiencing a romantic block, try going out on a minimum of three dates next week. It can be through an online dating site, a blind date, or any other opportunity. Remember, you are simply getting the energy moving by shifting to a more “dateable” identity.
Fitness: I tend to go through phases of eating well and going to the gym every day. If I feel good as a result of a specific exercise, it can become part of my routine. I find a class that I like and a teacher who inspires me. The alarm clock rings and my entire morning is laid out. I finish my cup of coffee, drive to the gym and am greeted by my favorite teacher. I feel better about myself the more that I go. I’m stronger and I feel like I belong there. But as most of us experience, life happens. My gym changed their entire schedule of classes, and my favorite teacher isn’t available at the times that I like to go. So I stop going for a few weeks, and once again begin to identify with being a couch potato. It is the hardest thing in the world to start going again. I was overweight as a teen, and can easily take on that identity if I am not careful. Eventually, I commit to exercising every day for at least 15 minutes. I give myself permission to leave the gym after 15 minutes but I have to go. Once you step foot in the gym, your subconscious mind identifies as an active person. Even if you leave after a few minutes, you were there. No one will know how long you have worked out that day. Maybe the girl at the front desk notices, but who is she to judge?
The most successful people in any area of life will come across a block or stagnant energy. There is nothing wrong with taking a break or having some down time. Our goal is to make sure that the down time doesn’t become a crutch that limits our ability to create and be in alignment with the law of attraction. I invite you to scan your life right now and think about that goal list you have in your head. Feel free to comment below with an area that you need to improve. Seeing it in writing might be just the jumpstart that you need!
17 Responses
Great blog thankyou!
A very timely and relatable reminder to get moving, much appreciated:-)
Hey, glad to see you back! I think there is some very good practical advice here, and I love practical advice! The best way to start manifesting something is often to DO something, even a tiny step, so you’re right on target there.
As for your writer’s block, I wouldn’t give it too much energy if I were you. You don’t have to write at all if it doesn’t appeal to you – you’re certainly connecting with people and helping them in many other ways, so don’t feel too bad about it.
And you don’t have to write something earth-shattering every time you blog, anyway. I’m sure your fans would simply be happy to hear what you’re up to or thinking about, so feel free to keep it short and sweet if you prefer! It’s okay with me. Rock on! 🙂
Thanks Dougall. Totally enjoyed your blog. Happy you found your groove.
All good points — even though we no better look what happens sometimes.
Hi Dougall,
It looks like your time off led to a wonderfully helpful blog. Funny, I was thinking, I think yesterday, that I wasn’t receiving your emails and thought, well, maybe he doesn’t have time to do that anymore, and here you are with a super message. I appreciate your thoughts.
Hi Dougall – loved your blog!! Over the past year I have had done what you have suggested in your blog especially in the unemployment dept. I also have difficulty in writing blogs or journals etc and have been told it’s because I don’t have a voice. I have started in small steps by contacting companies to advise them my thoughts on their products etc. I work everyday on not feeling guilty for what I haven’t done but feel satisfaction for what I have accomplished.
Thanks for all that you do.
Donna
Love it, Dougall! I can totally relate — it happens to all of us and the best of us. You’re inspiration delivered some brilliant advice and suggestions. Look forward to reading you more regularly. Thank you!
Well Doug, if you had a writer’s block and this is your first blog in 6 months, you are doing great. I’d say there is no rust anywhere. It sounds like the 6 month hiatius helped. Keep up the good work.
If I were a nail, you would have just hit me on the head with this blog. Reading this, I just realized that I have become completely comfortable with my “non-working” status. In fact, I think I am actually afraid to go back to work, and am energetically blocking any potential jobs that may come my way. You’ve got great advice, and a great blog! I’m so happy you had a block or you probably wouldn’t have written this particular article! Thanks!
Dougall – This is so timely for me it’s just downright bizarre. I’ve been very blocked on multiple fronts for a long time, but acutely so at the moment as I’m dealing with a bad case of writer’s block myself. I had a good reading with you years ago, but haven’t followed you or your career much at all since then (sorry!). But out of nowhere this morning, I thought “I should check out Dougall Fraser’s website” and there was your post about being blocked and jumpstarting your life. You are so right. I’ve fallen into this black hole of thinking that I’m incapable that my life just continues to manifest that way. Even if I don’t immediately change my mindset, I can still “practice” at being capable so that it becomes easier — like building a muscle. Anyway, thank you so much for writing this. It was definitely what I needed to hear at exactly the right time.
Welcome back! I told a friend of mine last weekend that I missed your posts! This reminds me a little of the old “fake it ’til you make it” scenarios, but I like your explanation better. After being unemployed for almost a year, Igot a job offer
Woops! dang tiny keyboard!
3 weeks after volunteering full-time to help organize the office of a local for-profit hospice organization. The guy who hired me said, “it showed me that you are not all about what’s in it for you, and your boss there said she’d opened a req to hire you. I figured I better grab you before they do!”
Don’t know why I never thought of that concept for weight loss. Thank you, and keep up the good work!
You write so well! Thank you for shareing this, I was looking for answers to get me unstuck and help me move forward, I love how the answers present its self when you ask for help.
I give my friends many times the same relationship / single advice. I did exactly what you suggested to your friend many years ago. I decided to change my thinking when it came to dating. I was going on 2-3 first dates each week. It would allow me to get to know people – but in the end I got to know myself better and found an amazing man that I now call my husband and father to our little boy. I like your perspective on fitness. I had my lil guy about 4 months ago via c-section and i’m still in maternity clothes – so depressing. But after reading your blog – I need to start thinking like a athlete again (and acting like it). Should I be telling the universe that I’m ready to be skinny again and wear normal clothes? 🙂 jk
Hi!! Just love you on that sex show,and have been sitting here reading all the great info you have written it is very informative for me. I don’t really have any major thing to write here, but i could write a lot of non major stuff !!ha.. just wanted to say i think you give really good advice on the show i love how free you are,keep being you. thanks
I feel that you are a special, gifted person. I
watch your show,read your book and feel lucky
to have enjoyed your work.
You are a love & people have responded with their love — you are living in the light and it shows!! It takes courage to step away from the known (blogging) and trusting the process to take a break. Good for you! You model a truth-lined path and that is beautiful &inspiring. Be well, dear soul!