Yesterday, I finally checked off my holiday shopping list for my sister’s teenaged kids. I wish I could tell you it was one of those heartwarming, movie-montage moments where I skipped merrily through the aisles. But instead, it was like a family dinner where the older generation (me) tries to make a joke about TikTok, while the kids are cringing so hard they might implode.

The challenge started when I decided to shop for my niece. Naturally, I found myself drawn to cute wintery clothes that I thought she would look adorable wearing. I mean, denim skirts, colorful cozy sweaters and chunky boots are timeless, right? Wrong!

After proudly loading my cart, I paused to ask my sister what she thought and was immediately told that I was on the wrong track. So, I started scrolling through photos on my phone, like Sherlock Holmes trying to crack the case of “What style does my niece actually like?” In the most recent photo that she texted me, I zoomed in on her sweatshirt and spotted the logo of what turned out to be her favorite band. Aha! I’d never heard of them, but this should be easy enough.

Feeling like the world’s coolest uncle (for about two seconds), I searched the band’s website to see what other merchandise they sold. What greeted me? A sea of black and red, complete with thorns and dripping blood designs. Oh boy. This was… not the cute aesthetic I had envisioned. Let’s just say it was giving “Metallica meets KISS with a side of Transylvania.”

But here’s the thing—I vividly remember those Christmas mornings as a kid, opening gifts from well-meaning family members that nonetheless screamed “church receptionist” instead of “cool kid on the block.” I’d roll my eyes and think, “I would never wear this. Does no one get me?” I didn’t want to be that person for my niece.

So, I took a deep breath, set aside my own preferences, and leaned into her world. Suddenly, I spotted some pieces that were actually kind of cool—a sweater here, a T-shirt there. I’m not a skull and bones kind of person, but hey, to each their own! Most of all, it felt good to hold space for things that my niece might actually enjoy, rather than force my own choices. Before I knew it, I was getting excited about what I picked out for her. Who knew shopping for spooky band merch could warm my heart?

This whole experience got me thinking about the ways that our own projection can cloud our insight. How often do we project our own tastes, insecurities, or “this is how it should be” vibes onto others—especially during the holidays? It’s easy to slip into the trap of giving what we think someone would like, instead of stepping into their shoes (or chunky boots).

So, if you catch yourself projecting in any area of life (we all do it!), take a moment to be reminded of what is true for you. Holding space for others means listening and meeting people where they are.

Speaking of meeting people where they are, now’s the time to do something nice for yourself! To explore more about energy, intuition, and creating deeper connections in your life, join my Cosmic Community! Registration is now open, and I’d love to have you on this journey of spiritual growth and discovery.