David and I recently returned from another energizing work trip to Japan. One of the locations we visited was Nara. Nara is significant to me for being the place where Buddhism was first established in Japan. I feel a strong connection with Buddhism, especially the idea that happiness can come from releasing our attachments to temporary states and things.
In Buddhism, the unhappiness that comes from clinging to our possessions is known as dukkha. Understanding this concept can teach us profound lessons about how to release unhappiness. Life is temporary by nature, and if we only look to earthly possessions for happiness, then we will always be unsatisfied in life. I did not realize it at the time, but I would learn a powerful lesson in releasing dukkha when I visited Nara with my sister and her husband a few years ago.
I am very close with my sister and brother-in-law. I was excited to share my love of Japan, and especially the importance of Nara to Buddhism. We spent the day visiting landmarks and enjoying the peaceful, friendly deer that are an iconic part of Nara. We walked for hours, exploring temples and various important historic sites.
At one point, my sister took off her sweater because she was warm. She did not realize until later that one of her earrings fell out of her ear. At first, she was upset and disappointed at the loss of her treasured, expensive jewelry. I offered to walk back with her, to see if we could find the earring somewhere on the ground. But my sister took a breath, and said no. She felt that such a small earring would never be found, and that looking for it would make her feel more disappointed about losing it.
I really respected her reaction and thought that it was such a powerful lesson in releasing dukkha. This trip to Japan was one of the most special experiences my sister and I ever had together. We enjoyed a beautiful day walking, drinking tea, and talking about spirituality. We created memories that would last a lifetime. She could have let the trip be ruined because she was upset about losing her earring. But instead of focusing on this worldly possession, she decided to release it to the universe. We said a prayer in the hopes that someone who really needed it would find and keep the earring.
In life, so many of us hold on to goals or ideas that create unhappiness. Maybe we dream about a relationship with someone, even if that person does not want (or deserve) to be in a relationship with us. Or we try to get a certain job, only to feel hopeless if it does not manifest. The truth is that life comes with happy surprises, as well as disappointments. Learning to be flexible and release our attachments is the fastest way to move forward and create a successful, happy life.
I was again inspired by this, my third visit to Nara, not only because it is beautiful, but also because of the powerful spiritual energy I feel when I’m there. Each time I visit Nara, I look forward to the opportunity to learn new lessons and receive guidance on my continued path in life.
Is there something that you’re holding onto, even though it is not bringing the happiness you envisioned? Let me know in the comments below so I can support you in releasing it.
17 Responses
Yes I’m holding onto a 30 year marriage that has technically ended 2 years ago. We are just now starting the legal separation process and even though I know that this is all for my highest good, I’m still stuck in sadness and jealousy because he’s moved on immediately and I haven’t been able to release him and even begin to date anyone.
I am a big believer in dating yourself first! Jumping from one relationship to another doesn’t really teach us anything. Date yourself for awhile. Connect with your heart first and see where that takes you.
Lost opportunities that I intuited and/or accepted and either turned down or didn’t commit to them wholeheartedly. Maybe music school. Basically, the past and my “perfect” vision of what might’ve been. The old stories keep popping in my head, so I keep letting them go and refocusing in the present.
I’m so glad I took the time to read this today.
Exactly what I needed to read to start my day.
The first thing that popped into my head after reading the last question was that
I’ve been holding on to being unemployed…and it’s surprising to realize and admit that…
100+ pounds. I have been unwilling to turn loose the unhealthy eating I use to make myself feel better.
That felt good just admitting this to someone and to me.
I totally understand this comment. I too have struggled with weight and food my entire life. I am sending you love and just know I understand. We can do it!
The first step is seeing the attachment, and we all have them lingering in our being. That awareness alone will help bring opportunity your way.
Such a beautiful message and reminder – living with loving detachment. Thank you, Dougall.
My acting career. Still want to and want to let go of the attachment keeping it away.
I am taking the class, A Course in Miracles, and I am learning to let go of the body as self. We are the light of God so we are Spirit first and foremost. Life lessons are for soul growth and I am learning the broken pieces we are left with in life’s adventure, become the cracks that let the light through for our ultimate understanding. We do need to be unattached to outcomes for spiritual growth. Attachment to life’s pretty things, bring about thoughts, feelings, emotional stability, and like your sister’s lost earring, an unexpected situation to wallow in despair or to release. Truth is in that instant, we have a choice to choose freedom from these earthly bound things or anxiety and attachment to what’s lost. Kiddos to your sister for her bravery! Released attachment
is a very important key to evolving your human to the upper levels of Spirited Self. We are all works in progress and little wins everyday add up to a world of wisdom. Namaste
My family dynamic completely changed when my dad passed last year. He was really the heart & soul of our family, and my sisters & I are only now fully realizing the extend to which he kept things in check. Thank you for supporting me in releasing my expectations of how my mom should behave and focusing on what I can do to bring my family closer in love and grace.
Thank you for your comment and sending your family much love and light.
I am in the final stages of ending a 24 year relationship. Our house has been sold and now I must move after all these years. I am having a hard time deciding where to go and letting go even though the house is not a happy place any longer. 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
Wow that is a powerful transformation. Maybe you could start with making a notebook with images and ideas of what the new energy of your home will look like? It could be a creative and cathartic process.
Your post is very timely indeed, as I am still trying to master “decluttering”. This is slightly embarrassing, but I think I see objects as “friendly” companions and hate to say goodbye. Sometimes I feel able to whip through the accumulated ‘stuff’ and clear a space of all but the essentials, and other times there is a tremendous lethargy that stops me! Anyway — thank you for posts that are always encouraging and uplifting.
I have not been able to let go of the idea of whom my entire entity has been since I was 6 years old. I need help releasing the pressure.
My family and I are moving to a nice place near our city, Mexico city, we have to sell our 30 years home, I want to do it but also feel sad for leaving it, I am in the middle of this important step, any suggestions?