This past week I spoke at the first Pearl xChange, an event dedicated to empowering women through inspiration and community. My dear friend Ramey Warren joined forces with Nicole Richie and gathered a diverse panel of experts, of which I was honored to be chosen as the only male speaker.  Ironically, leading up to this empowerment event I must admit that I had moments of feeling unworthy of it. I am so used to speaking at new-age events with colleagues in similar professions such as mediums and numerologists.  But this event was different.

The other speakers included self-esteem expert Jess Weiner, venture capitalist Shadi Mehraein, astronaut Jeanette Epps, Marianne Williamson, Gwyneth Paltrow, and myself. Nicole was the cofounder, host and emcee of the day. My inner critic had a field day every time I checked the website. That pesky little voice would say “Well how nice, they have an astronaut/former CIA agent, a financial expert, a New York Times bestselling author, an Oscar winner and then you.”  Logically, I am proud of my career accomplishments, but that didn’t stop the feelings of doubt from coming up.

I also didn’t have my usual support system in the weeks leading up to the event. Many of you know that my husband David is my manager.  When I do any event, he is by my side supporting me the whole way. But for the Pearl xChange, David was actually part of their team. He was supportive as always, but he was also laser-focused on helping out in any way that he could.  On Sunday morning he left for the venue before me because he had extra duties, and for the first time in a very long time I was left alone before I headed out to do my job.  This was an interesting experience, and I hadn’t realized how comfortable I was having David as my confidence booster.

A big part of my work involves using color to change our state of mind, and this was a perfect moment to utilize it. Since I wanted a boost of confidence, I decided to wear pink to invoke a sense of unconditional love and to remind myself of my own divine perfection. As I fastened each button of my shirt, I intentionally meditated on the essence of pink. I reminded myself of the choice before me. I could feel unworthy and compare myself critically to the other speakers, or I could be my most authentic self and just do what I do. Looking in the mirror at my pink shirt, the answer was clear.

I pulled up to the venue early (as always), and felt so proud of my friend Ramey. She has been working hard on bringing this event to fruition, and it was finally here. The lobby was bustling with women of all ages excitedly checking in.  I was walked backstage and shown into the green room, where Nicole was getting ready. Looking radiant in a long sleeveless dress, she turned to me and smiled.

“You look beautiful! Can I hug you?”

“Don’t hug the talent! I’m kidding, of course you can hug me.”

We hugged and talked about our excitement, but also our nervousness for the day. I think it is so important to acknowledge that we all experience some form of apprehension before stepping out of our comfort zone.  The true challenge is to bear witness to this nervous energy and then move forward anyway. Think of it as the contraction before we expand into bigger and better things.  For me, knowing that others feel the same way that I do is a huge relief.

I found my way to our table and met with some of the other speakers.  We all quickly bonded, building a strong energy of support among us.

The day went beautifully, with each speaker sharing moments of real vulnerability on their path towards greater confidence and empowerment. The event was filmed by the OWN network, and I invite you to check out some of the clips online.

Several days later Oprah.com released a few clips of the talk. At first glance, my inner critic made a remark that need not be repeated. Then I took a deep breath and just watched. If I may say, I was proud of myself. I sounded good, I was funny and in a short clip I made some good points. And for that moment, I did feel like I belonged there.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, much of my work involves helping clients reach past their limitations and break through to the next level. So many of my clients assume that successful people don’t have feelings of doubt or insecurity. I can assure you that other people in your position feel exactly the same way. Our brilliant minds conjure up little tricks to hold us back from fully experiencing our connection and potential.  Try to acknowledge those thoughts but then step back, take a deep breathe and remember that whatever room you are in, you deserve to be there.