If you listen to my radio show every week, then you know I love to end the show by talking about my current reality TV obsession.  Whether it’s Gary Busey spewing out spiritual mantras on “The Celebrity Apprentice”, or Kirstie Alley doing the Paso Doble on “Dancing with the Stars”, I love to watch and talk about these shows!   I spend so much of my time enriching my spirituality and connecting with my heart; sometimes it’s fun to just veg out and watch people frantically concoct an amuse bouche from items purchased in a vending machine.  “Top Chef”, anyone?

I figure it is only fair to practice the old saying:  “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it”.  About a year ago I filmed a scene for the 6th season of “The Real Housewives of Orange County“.  You may recall my appearance on the 5th season, where Vicki invited the girls over for a sleepover party and I gave them each a little mini-reading.  Several of the ladies made fun of my name, which I admit is unusual.  The moment Vicki answered her door, she introduced me to her guests as Doobie. For the next ten minutes I was surrounded by a gaggle of grown women cracking jokes about my name all the while thinking in my head this will DEFINITELY make the show.   I believe Gretchen said “Who would name their child Dougall?”  Of course, being a psychic for a living comes with its own set of jokes that people like to make.

Truth be told, parties are not my favorite kind of work.  Most people at a party want to be silly, let loose and catch up with their friends.  Suddenly you invite someone like me over, and people are crying over their dinner.  The reaction of the party guests tend to differ as well.  There is usually one person who seems to immediately hate me.  In this case that person was Gretchen Rossi.  And then there are one or two people that I really connect with.   On that particular night, I really connected with Tamra Barney and she asked for a follow-up session.

I knew a little too much about Tamra to do a full psychic reading this time, considering the fact that I had watched the entire previous season in which I appeared at Vicki’s party.  Well, except for my appearance, which I watched through my fingers that were covering my eyes.   However, I agreed to come back and do a Cosmic Coaching session with her.

A coaching session is different from a psychic reading.  In a coaching session we talk about some of the energetic blocks in your life, and then together we target the blocks and discuss how you can maintain your balance.  It’s more of a collaboration with the client than a psychic reading, where I ask that you tell me nothing about your life before the session.  This clip is a great example of how that works.

The day of my meeting with Tamra went differently than my morning routine.  In most of my work, I don’t pay much attention to what I am wearing, but it’s another thing when millions of people may be watching.  As I selected my outfit, my loving husband came in and said “Hey, can I do your makeup for the show?”  This is a reasonable question because David is a makeup artist, and most people who appear on TV wear makeup to look their best.  You think Kathie Lee & Hoda wake up looking like that?

“I guess so?”, I said,  “but, is that weird?  I’m a spiritual advisor.  I wouldn’t wear makeup to work on an average day.”

“Yes but this is going to be on national TV”, David reasoned.  “This isn’t an average day of work.  You know they’re going to use High Definition cameras, so any person would look shiny.”

Technically he was right.  Whenever I am on TV, David usually wants to do my makeup.  But for some reason on this day I was hesitant.  I didn’t want to look superficial.  David turned on some music, pulled out his makeup kit and motioned me into the makeup chair.  I hesitantly sat down, and like a painter he started mixing my foundation.  He poured the mixture into his airbrush machine and started spraying the fine mist onto my face.  I took a deep breath to relax, closed my eyes,  and my mind started to wander.

What if I look like I obviously have makeup on?  What if I look like some pancake-faced gay psychic freak?  Why am I putting myself in this position?  Last year was really hard, and now I have agreed to go back on camera again.  Am I insane?  Would John Edward do this?  Would Marianne Williamson go on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?  Would Amma the hugging guru appear on “The Bad Girls Club”?  Oh lord, maybe I should cancel.  What if I end up tripping on her front porch and it’s replayed every ten seconds on the E! channel?

“You look nervous”,  David states.  “I’m freaking out!”, I yell.  I jump up from the chair and run over to the mirror.  “Oh my god, it’s too much!”  David tells me to calm down, no one will be able to tell.   “My skin looks perfect!”, I shriek.  “Um, that’s kind of the point”, David says.

I am supposed to be a spiritual mentor, not a contestant on America’s Next Top Model!  We are inside and they may be filming me OUTSIDE in natural light; you know what that means.  I will look like one of those gay men that lives in Boca and has a Chihuahua named Paris or Gucci.  Everyone will think I have a collection of rhinestone-encrusted baseball caps at home, right next to my Liberace capes.  I insist that we look outside.

I grab a hand held mirror from his desk and race out to the back yard.  This is probably the moment in a reality show where you would see me looking like a crazy person, walking in circles around my yard with a mirror trying to see if you could tell that I had makeup on.  Yes, that would be MY Gary Busey moment.

“David, it’s too much makeup for me.”  I didn’t want to offend David.  I know how good he is at his job, but the fearful voice in my head was getting the best of me.  In order to get back to my center I needed to feel completely like myself.  I don’t wear makeup to see clients, and  I am not going on a talk show to promote a new book.  I need to feel grounded.

“Ok, Ok, settle down.  I’ll tone it down”

David gently takes my hand and pulls the mirror from my grasp as if taking a gun away from a bank robber.  We walk back to his office, and he wipes a wet sponge all over my face.  He does this until I am bare-faced and holds up the hand mirror so that I can see.  “See, au natural and still adorable,” he says.

Later that day, I settle myself into the back of a town car and put my ear phones in.  As I begin my meditation, Native American flute music swirls in my head and the car heads off to Orange County.  By the time we pull up to Tamra’s house I feel calm, centered and connected.  I slowly open the car door and a team of cameras meet me.  After approaching the door I ring the door bell.  Tamra answers and gives a big beautiful smile.

“Hi, Dougall!”

As I look at her, I totally forget that there is a camera in the room.  I am ready to do what I do best; talk about someone else’s problems.

In the link, you can watch the results of that day.  As I watched it with David, I realized that in the end it didn’t matter if I wore the makeup or not.  The point of makeup is to make a person feel more confident, that is all.  We watched the clip and laughed.  I remembered what a  freak-out I had that day, and that I had fallen into the trap of taking myself too seriously.  Who would even care if I had makeup on or not?  Surely not Tamra, or anyone who watched that clip.  It was a good lesson for me, to keep my sense of humor and laugh along.

This week I ask you, how often are you able to laugh at yourself?  We seem to be a society that loves to laugh at others.  America loves a blooper real.  We giggle when someone makes a mistake but how often do we laugh when the joke is on us?  This week I invite you not to take yourself so seriously.   Now, I need to go powder my forehead.