“Man Plans, God Laughs” – Old Yiddish Proverb
We all do our best to take steps towards creating the life that we want. But at the end of the day, unexpected life events can pop up and completely shift our attention. I like to refer to this as a “Curve ball from the Universe.” In my opinion, this sort of thing happens because life is not meant to be perfect. Our job is to be flexible and make the best of our circumstances so that we can move forward. I recently received a curve ball of my own and wanted to share it with you.
I just completed teaching a live video class called Mindful Manifesting. The program focuses on the idea of making positive plans for improving our lives. For five weeks, participants would interact with me to talk about and practice effective manifesting techniques. I would answer questions via live video or written submissions. One week, someone submitted a comment during the live class.
“Dougall, I can see that you’re nervous. Is everything okay?”
I read the question out loud to the class, absorbing their observation in real time with everyone listening. My first reaction was slightly defensive.
“Me? Not at all! Nope, not nervous here.”
After class David and I have a little ritual where we discuss the lesson and exchange notes on how it could have gone more smoothly or be improved.
I brought up the participant’s question and told him that I was surprised by how much it affected me.
As an intuitive teacher, the specific topic is not the most important thing to me. For me, my ultimate goal is to help people connect to their own intuition. I’ve always felt that if someone has a psychic impression about you, it is important to acknowledge it. If you deny it, you are also causing them to question their own intuition. We have to own our vulnerability in order to strengthen that intuitive voice.
And in this case, my participant was absolutely right. I was feeling nervous because I had been dealing with something in private, and they picked up on it.
When it comes to working with my clients, I typically try to be as transparent about my life as possible. I find that giving a window into my process and how I manage my energy to be a helpful tool in teaching. However this one was big, and it wasn’t entirely my information to share.
In late November my mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. With social media, it sometimes feels like every aspect of our lives must be documented. We share images from vacations, posts of lovely meals, and joyful gatherings of friends and family. But when bad news comes into the picture, it provides a different opportunity to observe our life, behavior, and priorities from a different perspective.
I work in the world of self-help and inspiration. My intention is to be joyful when I teach and provide as uplifting of an outlook as I can. My truth is that the last two months have been really difficult. Dealing with a loved one’s illness is even harder when you don’t live near them. I couldn’t figure out how to share difficult news like this and spin it to be inspiring or positive. But I have also been finding that it doesn’t feel as authentic to just pretend like nothing is happening.
On the last night of my online class, right at the end I decided to confirm the accuracy of the participant’s intuitive hit about me. I apologized to the class for not owning it right in that moment. She was right. I explained my mom’s diagnosis and that my family was busy making health choices, trying to figure out how to move forward. On the bright side, we were coming together as a family and connecting more than usual.
This was also a great lesson for me. In life we all have hopes, dreams and desires, but the truth is that a variety of curve balls may come our way. Right now, for me it is my mom’s cancer. I am fully aware that many, many people deal with health issues in their lives and their family’s lives. I have the deepest respect for anyone who has gone through this.
As spiritual beings we don’t always have to project pure joy. We are allowed to strive for positivity, be proactive and still say “yes, lately I’ve been dealing with a lot and it sucks.”
To all of you lovely souls who take the time to read my blog posts I thank you for letting me teach and be open about a personal matter. For those of you dealing with curve balls from the Universe, I see you and I support you. The Universe always provides us opportunities to connect with joy, and in support of each other if we choose.
This is a curve ball for my family, but it has brought us closer together than ever. We have family members who have beaten cancer before, and that is our plan.
135 Responses
You are always so gracious. Grace will be yours and your Mother too.
Dougall – bless you and your mom. Remember what you teach which is what I really like about you and my all time favorite Emmet Fox by going back to your simplified basic spiritual beliefs. God and the universe are love, truth and full of healing power! CL
Hello Dougall, David,
You have the support from the realm as you know. The agreements we made previously bring us the unexpected and deep inside we are prepared for. God, Source Energy is with you all and will always be.
Thank you Milla, sending you lots of love.
Dougall,so sorry to hear about your mother. I know the universe will guide you and your family to the best possible outcome. Blessings to you all.
Dougall, I am sending my love and spiritual support to your precious mother and to you and the rest of your/her loved ones as well! I’ve been reading the comments left for you and “warming myself” from all of the love and wisdom written by your fans. I know you will be conveying to your mother all of the outpouring of love for her. You might not think to mention how much caring you, yourself, receive back from your fans who love you so. But I believe she would relish hearing that. As the mother of grown children I can tell you that I would dearly love hearing such a thing! Please let her know how much we all appreciate her having you and raising you so that you could be the blessing that you are in our lives! ❤️
Thoughts and prayers for your mom and family at this time. ❤❤
So very beautifully and tenderly shared. Golden Light of Love and Healing Energy to your entire family. The Angels are all around you!
Sending your Mom healing love and wrapping you a big hug. <3
I just want to send you love and support.
xxx
Blessings to you and your family Dougall, may healing miracles be with you 💜
Dearest Dougall,
I’m sending you and your family so much love. I, too, having been learning the lesson of owning all aspects good and bad as I have been dealing with my own health issues for the first time. I always try to be as positive as possible, but yes sometimes you have to let the negative emotions have their voice too.
Perfectly said Valerie. Sometimes owning the negative feelings is all that’s needed to start moving through them.
Thank you for sharing. I feel we should be open and let people know we hurt like everyone else does. Prayers for you and your family.
Prayers, love, and light to your family during this difficult time… Have been in such situations several times and it is beautiful when, as happened with one relative, the family and friends gather ’round and there is so much support. Blessings to you~
I am sorry to hear what your family are going through. My first thought while reading the post was she is going to get through this. My getting well wishes and my prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you so much Chantale, my mom has been reading these comments and your kindness is really appreciated.
Vulnerability can be so scary and so good at the same time. You teach many by confirming and affirming. Big hugs to you and your Mom and family.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your authenticity!! Healing, comfort, love, and light to your mom and family! Thanks for being you! You are a fabulous light to me and the world!
Big Purple Hugs and Lots of Love!
Thank you Christy!
as I have found with chronic illness , as I am very ill and apart from my husband and a few friends, my family don’t work or pull together and that has not help my illness but the help from the small few that care and love that is unconditional starts a big snowball effect and then add the care a love of stranger’s and the universe and the care that you gave myself when it was needed , returns to that person that gave and helped in the first place and that then is passed of to your family through the extra strength that you feel and gain from the returned love, so as you passed on to me the care through white light and pass that back to you and your family kind regards and love maxine
Thank you for sharing Maxine, I’m sorry to hear that your family is not being more supportive during this difficult time. I truly believe that sometimes our family is not the people to whom we are blood-related, but rather the friends who we choose to surround ourselves with. Sending you lots of love.
Very well said; may you and your family be enclosed with a big hug from the universe.
Sending love, prayers, good energy to you all.
This article means a lot to me. The last four months, I’ve been getting curve balls, sliders, breaking balls- you name it. Thank you for writing this. Grief is so hard to hit out of the park.
Kelly
Thank you so much for your honesty. What a powerful illustration that one of the most false notes of self-help/spiritual movements is to ignore the negative. I once heard that Louise Hay said if you want to clean your dirty carpet, you have to see the dirt.
Sharing the truth with your students was the best thing you could have done. You HAVE empowered them and helped them have the strength to face whatever fears they may be experiencing. You gave them a great gift.
Sending you much healing and light during this challenging time for you and your family.
Thank you so much Connie! I have never heard that Louise Hay quote before, and I love it.
Thank you for sharing this very personal and painful time. May there be healing in the highest for your mom. All the best to you and your family.
Angels be with you and your mom Dougall!
Sending love vibes for the whole family❤️❤️❤️
Thoughts , healing energy and prayers are with you and your family Dougall. Stay strong.
So beautiful of you to open up and let all of us who you touch so deeply hold space for you. Sending you love.
Thank you Kerri!
The universe does give us curve balls at the most unexpected times, that’s for sure. I’m glad that you are using this opportunity to grow, educate, and transcend. My thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Love you xo
Lots of love to you and your family. Thank you for always including us in your journey. ❤️
Mimi
My heart and healing prayers go out to your mom, you, and your entire family.
Bless Your Heart Angels and Helper Beings of Light Rushing to Your Side and Hers Just keep loving her and letting her know how much you do xxxooo
Dear Dougall,
This is very tender and thoroughly understood to me. Recently, in my own life, I was expected to carry on, holding inside my worry and concern of my mothers injury and eventual decline. With no one but hired care and living a distance away, I managed to be present every allowable time off from work. I wanted to dispel her fear as best I could with just my presence and holding up my truth. She has passed now and I know that support from others must be genuine as our intuition tells us so.
I enjoy your blogs received in my emails. Bless you for your insight and service. Being there is what you know, and your mom will know that too.
Love the “Old Yiddish Proverb” ( I will save it on my desktop)
Thank you for sharing Gwynne, I am sorry to hear of your mom’s passing. I am sure she could feel your intention in helping her release the fear. Sending you lots of love.
Sending much love to you and your family xo
Dougall, thank you for sharing what your mom and you and your family have been going through. I am always uncomfortable sharing such personal news so I hesitate to do so or I over share which can be really crazy. You let me know a good way to share it. Thanks.
Sending love for your mom & all the family. This is something our family is going through as well & we have witnessed the healing power of love that has been sent.
Thank you for simply being you, in every moment Dougall. You are a compassionate man & teacher & admiring your honesty. Love and positive vibes to your Mom, you & your family 🙏😌🙏
Dougall – once again, I am deeply touched by your willingness to be so authentic & vulnerable with your people. Many of us have walked the “sick parent” path. May the love & support I am sending out to you, David & the rest of your family right now, at this very moment, help to sustain you through the rough patches. Big hugs forever.
Thank you so much Kacey! I am grateful for you.
Yes Dougall and you are wonderful. I feel strongly the best way is to feel whatever it is we feel without judgement..of others, our “God” (or what you call the source.. ) or of ourself and accept our feelings.. this way we can accept our fates and let life flow through us.. not even good or bad.. life is never all bliss or all crap.. it is an ocean tho.. it ebbs and flows.
Cancer is no longer a death threat .. how about looking at the lesson your mom is learning and all of you too.
Please don’t put bad on this.. that judges and it gets stuck.. think of it kind of like wind or water a moving force!
Maybe even cleansing?
I applaud your bravery!!
Thank you for being a great teacher. Your openness and honesty have taught me how to deal with a lot of things in my life.
Wishing you and your family the strength to weather this difficult situation together.
Your honesty,authenticity and depth of emotion are not only great teaching points but great life qualities to possess. My mom was diagnosed with cancer almost a year ago. I found myself unable to focus in acting class. We were in the conflict unit. I couldn’t truly go for the jugular and hurt the other actors with my words and actions in the improvisation. I had left a huge chunk of myself out of class, worrying about my mother. It wasn’t the place or time to explain that to the class or the teacher. After hating on myself for a fair bit I decided to love myself and give thanks that I feel things so deeply and to leave my ego out. I’m glad you examined yourself deeper and shared this. I’m really hoping for a turn around for your mom. She gave birth to a real gem.
Thank you so much Clara, I really appreciate you taking the time to write this. It sounds like you know exactly what my family is going through right now. I am grateful for your kind words.
Holding your Mom and family in light love and prayers. ❤️
Dear Dougal , My prayers are with you and your mom as well as your whole family. Pray keep positive and love one another deeply.
Love , Rebecca
Sending you and your loved ones lots of love and blessings!! You are incredibly real and we love you for it!! Please take care of yourself , we are here for you!!
May you and your family be wrapped in love during this difficult time. Your Mom is blessed to have you.
Peace be with you and your family during this time Dougall. When our teachers embrace the hard stuff and show their struggles I feel the students are reminded they can be teachers too.
I love you.
I love your Mom.
Hang in there, you are all very much protected. ✨❤️
Thank you for your wisdom, Dougal! The manifesting class was already great, but I think it always helps to be reminded that I am learning from someone who also deals with awful stuff and can be honest about setbacks and the complicated realities of being a human being in our world. It helps me to be easier–and more empathetic–with myself when I am going through a hard time and let it get to me.
Thank you Juliet!
Hi Dougall-
Thank you for sharing. You have so many people who adore you (including me!) sending you and your Mom so much love!!
❤️Wendy
The courage to speak from the Heart is what the world needs more than ever, and your life is living inspiration that we all can do this… Thank you, Dougall. I feel that I was not encouraged to communicate in this way growing up… that it was not safe… especially as a male. As you exemplify the willingness to try, I acknowledge that I can find that safety and security within myself. That I can live and breathe in my humanity… and that Love is here.
All Gratitude
Bless you and your loved ones.
Sending you and your mom love and healing energy❤️❤️🙏
Dougall,
I never thanked you for the reading you gave me a while back. Thank for that. My thoughts and prayers go out to your and your family. There’s this Jewish prayer called Mi Sh’beyrach. Perhaps it is healing to you and your family. It was sung beautifully at this link by Debbie Friedman.
David
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxAw8Z-3qOc
Dougall, please have her iron levels checked by someone who knows about iron. Not all doctors look for iron overload. Read The Iron Elephant if you can asap. Amazon out of print used $25. There is a connection with cancer otherwise I wouldn’t bother you with this text. She is beloved for sure….
Peace and Blessings!
You are such a special soul Dougall. Thank you for sharing your love and light with so much grace, sincerity and generosity. My heart goes out to you, your Mom and your family at this challenging time. I have an idea of what you’re going through, since my father passed away from pancreatic cancer (nineteen years ago) and we lived in different cities. I’m eternally grateful that I was with him (and the rest of our family) when he passed at home. The peace and unity of that experience was deeply healing, despite the pain of loss. Sending special love and divinely healing energy to all of you, especially your Mom. Huge hug from SA, Naomi
As your family takes this journey together my love and prayers surround all of you.
Dear Dougall,
We are a spiritual family now. Thankyou for the amazing lessons of Mindful Manifesting and you did it while you made your vulnerability your strength. Proud to have a teacher in you. My thoughts are with your mom and I am sending lots of healing her way. Universe loves her beyond measure. ❤️
Dougall…….I really appreciate how you model for other people. The Truth shall set you free !
Dear Dougall, Thank you for modeling what is so hard to share with others. I’ve been in this situation and “stiff upper lip” is the way too many of us are raised. As other’s have said, we are part of your spiritual family and we are holding you, David, your mom and your siblings in our prayers and sending light to all of you!
I do understand the challenges you and your family are having to explore. There are many alternatives that are available and one can seek. This is a time a family gathers together, connects with one another in a family hug, and shares precious moments. Blessings and love for the highest and best possible outcome and sending the highest frequency energies.
Dear Dougall,
Thank you for your graciousness in showing us your vulnerability – and in that, giving all of us a huge gift. Being strong is not only the ability to carry things independently, but also the ability to reach out. You have absolutely embodied that, and showed us all how to be strong in adversity.
I send you and your family healing love and the strength to be present during this trying time
Big white light hugs
Thank you so much Judy, I really appreciate it. My mother has been reading these comments and she is absolutely astonished by the amount of love and positivity being directed her way.
You are a brave and loving soul. Life’s curve balls have always been my best teacher in the long run. To host a live event with that knowing in your heart was huge. It’s now created this space, so many lovely people here. Sending you and your family healing prayers.
Dear Dougall,
Sending you much love and light in this difficult times. Thank you for sharing…
Much love to you, your Mum and your family Dougall. My mother was diagnosed with cancer just over a year ago. Sadly she passed away last May, but as odd as it probably sounds, sharing her final journey with her was such a blessing. As you know I’m sure, Mothers are so very precious and their love is with you always. My prayers are with you. Look after yourself x
I’m sorry to hear about your mother’s passing Lynda, but thankful that you were able to share her final journey with her.
Thank you for opening up and being honest about the curveball the Universe threw you. It threw me the exact curveball some years ago. I send you and your family blessings of Love and Light. Tomorrow and every day.
Sending love, light and healing energy to your mother❤️
Dougali-san, I am very impressed by your hoensty and insight. My mother also got cancer several years ago and I had the difficult time, then. And of course, it was very hard for me to have the sessions at that time. Still now, I am probably having some fear in the corner of my heart at the time of having sessions. This blog encourages me a lot and thank you very much for teaching me such attitude.
Thank you for your sweet words, I appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing with us. I will keep your family in my prayers. Xoxo
Dougall, so deeply sorry to hear of this curveball. Sending your mom continuous healing energy and prayers…and sending the entire family love (& more love!!), peace, strength and wisdom. God blesses you, beloved. Love, hugs and support from Texas. xoxo
Dear Dougall,
Thank you for sharing and making us all your Family. Sending your mom healing energy, positive thoughts and all my prayers. Sending you love and strength, may the Universe empower your family with health and bright healing light💜
Blessings to you and your Mom!
God bless you and your family. Sending health and healing energy to you and your loved ones.
Love to you and your family. Thanks for being so honest. It helps to know that someone else can identify with the cancer fight. Sending positive vibes!! Xxx
Dear Dougall,
My heart sincerely goes out to you. I understand on a deep level. I am now 66. My child had cancer at the age of 7. He also was born with CP. He was the light of my life. I remember how blessed I felt in his second month of chemo on Thanksgiving Day. Because it was the first time he opened his eyes and was able to get out of bed into his wheelchair. He survived cancer. Remember, we choose our lessons before we arrive here and all the people in our lives including their roles. As a coach myself, I now see everything in my life including my personal life is to help others. Having real life experience made me a true coach with much wisdom and depth that others will connect to you I a more profound way. In April 2013. My mom passed and my son passed in unexpectedly ((w/o cancer) in June 2013. You are so blessed to have family coming together. I am sending you and your family so much love.
Oh my goodness, my heart welled up reading your words. You are absolutely right, life experience is what makes us able to relate with others on a deeper level. I am sending you so much love right back.
Blessings to you and your family during this difficult time.
Dear Dougall,
It is good you had the courage to tell us. I am lifting you and your mom up high in the arms of angels where there is no cancer. Gregg Braden (he’s with Hay House too) has a video of a cancer patient being healed while being surrounded with 3 healers. The video shows the woman healed by aligning her with the FEELING and vibration of the universal love. How would your mom, yourself and your family be FEELING after the cancer is healed. FEEL that NOW. Would what she be doing? Visualize her doing that now. Talk to Hay House author Anita Moorjani about this ASAP. cancer cannot survive in the higher vibrations. I am sending you many blessings.
Thank you Kim, I will check out the video you’re talking about. I really respect both Gregg and Anita, and so appreciate the recommendations.
I am so sorry big hugs for you and your mom wish you the best. If you have the chance Google “The Sacred Plant” watch the documentary series, lots of good information and alternative options for cancer and other diseases. It is very impressive.
Dougall, thanks for being such a great example. Thanks for noticing your feelings and letting your students know they were on their stuff. As a student, still trying to find their way through and trying to learn to trust and understand the information you are just starting to take it… Getting that kind of feedback and acknowledgment is so important. If you hadn’t noticed, you could have set them back. That’s what makes you a good teacher and an even better human being.
My heart goes out to you, your mother and your family. Dougall you have touched so many lives, mine included, and given so freely of yourself. Let us give back to you at this difficult time my friend. Sending you much love, light and healing energy.
Healing and patient energy sent to you and your family!
Thanks for sharing ! I send prayers to you and your family at this time, with the Light of love surrounding you all. The curve ball availed your spiritual family to move forward with you, supporting you during this time. Much love.
Thank you Susan!
I just watched the Live longer feel better documentary series and they talked about H2O3 being usable water in our cells and you get it through plants. That’s why juicing is so great and can cure disease. Also stem cell transplant done in Panama. If you Google Mel Gibson and stem cells you will see an interview with him talking about his 92 yo dad in multi system failure. It’s 7 years later and his dad is very well. Maybe your mom would be into alternative medicine? Some are and done aren’t. Maybe worth looking into. I wish your mom, you and your family well.
Biggest love in your mother’s favorite colour.
Biggest love to you in yours.
May those colours bring you both the ease of mind and peace of heart that is so much yours in this moment.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing a most private part of your life. My mother also was diagnosed with cancer, was treated, and is now living several years later. I empathize with you and you have my energetic support. Love and light to you, your mother, and your family. xo
I’m’ so sorry to hear about your Mom, Dougall! I LOVE your honesty and your desire to spread positivity and joyfulness. I ALWAYS try to find the silver linings… as there IS a Silver Lining in EVERYTHING! As the brilliant late Dr. Wayne Dyer use to say… “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.” You’ve realized that your family has come together in dealing with your mom’s cancer, and I really DO believe in Spirit… and this didn’t *just* happen. I’m sad for what you, your family and your mom are going through, and I hope that you CAN hold onto the Silver Linings you may be finding along this journey. Much love…
Sending love to you and your family. Sometimes not everything has to be spun in a positive light. Sometimes, just letting it be what it is is the best. I’m a longtime Buddhist and shamanic practitioner. Our tradition holds that genuine sadness (not depression or anger) is key to opening the heart. Let yourself be sad, let the tears come, and after that you feel cleansed, clean, honest, real, and full. It’s good. It’s fine. And others will share in that fullness of heart. A tender heart is how we best connect with our world, able to be touched. Sending you best wishes for much love within your family and community.
Dougall – Your vulnerability is amazing. One comment you made struck me; that when you teach, you try to be joyful and uplifting. Having gone through cancer with my mom and dad, it may be difficult to do so when you are in the “thick of it.” Yet, the outpouring of love and kindness during those tough periods was overwhelming. When I stepped back, I realized was that I wasn’t the one to provide joy during that time, I was to receive it. Maybe this is your time – your time to allow others to care and nurture you. For “givers” that is a challenge, but don’t miss it. Don’t miss the love and friendship that will be extended to you and your family. Bask in the kindness and be grateful for your community. Listen to the stories people tell you about your Mom and cherish them. Receive and stand in the wonder of love outpoured. Blessings always
This morning I woke up with the following thoughts that had to do with someone (and I didn’t know who it was meant for) who was dealing with illness, with a cancer connection. The words in my mind were ..as your friends pray, please have them give prayers of gratitude for the healing this person has received rather than asking for healing to come; to keep in mind their thoughts and prayers only the image of a healthy loved one, because the image in mind is the image that manifests; to focus and be grateful for the healing that is, not the illness being fought. I hope this message is helpful. I will be sending gratitude and love for your Mom’s healing.
Prayers to you and your family Dougall.
Thank You for the beautiful post, so well written.
XOXO
Dear Dougall,
I’m sending you and your mom and family a big, big hugh from a small vilage in central Catalonia.
Xoxo.
Prayers Light Love and Blessings to you and your family.
XOXO. Love you Dougall!!
Dearest Dougall, you are so dear and brave for sharing this post and of course you know that you are so very loved and our hearts are with you at this time and always. One of the things I really love about you is how you *do* share who you really are with us, I love hearing about your own personal experiences, it makes all of us trust you more deeply.
I know this is a difficult passage, and I am sending love, peace, and light to you and your family. You are all safe, and all is well. <3
Sending you and your family so much love, Light. Strength and healing xxx
Oh Dougall I’m so sorry to hear your news. You are such a special and amazing soul and your honesty and vulnerability at such a difficult time have deeply moved me. I’m holding you and your loved ones in my heart and in my thoughts at this difficult time. With much love and blessings xxx
Your courageous vulnerability is inspiring to me, and one of the many reasons you are beloved by your students and those of us who have benefitted from your remarkable gift. Thank you for sharing. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Dear Dougall,
I’m so sorry to read about your mother’s health challenge. Although I know nothing about your mom, based on who her son turned out to be, she must be a remarkable woman. Indeed, what mother (or father) wouldn’t be proud to say, “Dougall Fraser is my son”?
As a regular listener to your radio show, the thing that strikes me most about you (aside from your obvious gift) is your gentleness, humility and sincerity. You truly ARE about the business of empowering others. In a time when so much of the world is fueled by superficial imagery and pretense, you are a spiritual breath of fresh air. It’s so readily apparent that you’re not there to impress, you’re there to help.
My intuitive sense is that you’re the kind of son who regularly tells your mom how much you love her. With her firmly secure in that knowledge, and surrounded by loving family, one thing is certain: Her desire to live, even in the face of significant adversity, will be bolstered and strengthened. And what greater gift could a son give his mother?
It seems the primary factor behind your decision to not share this information sooner was your desire to shield your students from a less-than-joyful aspect of your life. In that regard, I respectfully offer the following. Those of us who follow your work obviously feel drawn to your teachings (books, classes, videos, etc.). But it’s so much more than that. We also resonate with you on an emotional level. Simply put, you make us feel good. We therefore care about the facets of your life that are less than joyful. Why? Because they’re also an integral part of you. But you knew that already.
With gratitude and respect,
Ed Franco
https://edwardfranco.com
Thank you so much for your kind words Ed, I am grateful and really appreciate you taking the time to write this.
Ooof, that is something so serious and scary Dougall. Love and light to your mom, you, your family. There’s nothing easy about cancer. There’s nothing easy about watching the axis of your world tip sideways.
Because cancer is a long term illness, there are so many different needs for different families. You’ve helped me tremendously, so I’d like to give back by sharing my experiences with you if that’s okay. Your needs are different, so take what might work and throw away the rest.
Stuff I wish I had known 30 years ago: I was young when both my parents fought cancer diagnosis. The outcomes were different, and don’t matter here. I’m old now, but even 30 years later…..well, The ship of life is going into rough waters. You be the captain, so your job is to steer the ship and hold your crew together.
Listen to your mom. Not just words. Least of all words. Her actions, her movements, her sighs. How can you help her? Clean, run errands, plan small and sweet surprises. If you focus on her and her needs now, it will help. Cook meals, do the day to day stuff that gets soooo hard when you’re sick. Fill her water glass, rub her feet, get her meds. Bring flowers, or whatever makes her happy. Do it with no expectations of gratitude or acknowledgement. Love is a warm blanket, let it quietly surround her.
For you, in private, take good care of yourself. Talk to friends, journal, eat well, meditate. Keep your well full so you have energy to help your mom.
I wish I’d just sat with my parents more and watched TV with them. Listened to their stories. Got their handwriting and smiles framed. Recorded their voices. Learned to cook their favorite recipes. Asked them more questions about their lives and dreams before children. Helped them fulfill their wants. Bought my dad a motorcycle. Cleaned the house for my mom. I tried, but I was a stupid kid and didn’t understand that life is a journey, ebbs and flows of giant waves and calm seas. That they were a part of me, forever and always no matter what. And I was a part of them.
You are wise beyond your years, and strong and you will be such a source of comfort to your mom. Love each other fiercely and freely. Sending you great healing and love for the seas to be calm on your journey together this year.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom Maggie, this is great advice and I will incorporate it for sure.
I’m sorry to hear this, Dougall. I will keep your mom in my prayers during this difficult time…
Sending healing energy, love and light to you and all your family. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Dougall, Have you heard about Medical Medium, Anthony William. He has 3 books out about healing. The information comes from Spirit if Compassion. I am healing along with hundreds of thousands of others with mystery illnesses inc kidding alk types of cancer. His protocols are phenomenol physically, emotionally, mentally and most of all Spiritually. Check him out! – – Your Mom deserves to heal also. Your family is not alone ! ! !
Much love to you Dougall, David, and Fraser family. Your beautiful, kind heart, Dougall, is a tribute to your mother. You comfort us daily. I hope you will allow us to comfort you.
What a lovely post, thank you for sharing. Cancer, the word itself makes people retract. But it is so much more, my Cancer diagnosis has been a blessing in my life. It has brought many wonderful people to me, I have grown as a person & as a spiritual being and it has allowed me to be the person who I was meant to be. Many your Mother & your family find the blessing behind the disease. Peace, LOVE & Joy Douglas. ♥️
Thank you Kimberly, I absolutely love your perspective on the good that the diagnosis has also brought into your life. So much of our life experience is affected by perspective. Sending you lots of love.
Oh Dougall, cancer sucks! And we’ve lost a few amazing people to it within the last few years. Now my mom’s Cancer has returned and it too will be the catalyst of her passing. And we have a beautiful friend who no longer has cancer and plays regularly with her grandchildren! And of course, my husband who is a ‘survivor ‘ as well, and is even now loving on our puppies! You’re mom has such amazing love surrounding her already, but I add mine to it all. May she heal as quickly as possible and with ease.
Thank you Laura!
Thank you for your honesty Dougall. I understand your struggle having gone through it with my own father. Sending Love, Prayers, and Healing Light to your mom and all of your family. I stand by you and will hold space dear one.
Thank you so much May, that means the world to me.
Dougall I can’t tell you what your “when life throws you a curveball” piece means to me. I was just recently diagnosed with breast cancer, the curveball of all curveballs. I am still in shock, so is my family. There is a tendency to want to hide from the world. With everything still moving at breakneck speed, my life seems to be moving in slow motion. Even though I am surrounded by loving family and friends I have vulnerable moments of isolation and loneliness. Your share brought me healing this morning. We always think that we are somehow in control if we do right action; a sort of cosmic deal with the universe. But in these curveball moments if we let go, maybe that is when we can be healing for others, instruments of love and light. That is what your honesty did for me. Thank you. I send healing and love to you and your family. You are not alone❤️
Thank you so much for your honesty Lora, that is a lot of information to take in. Your feelings are completely valid, and it is absolutely understandable to go through a variety of emotions as you process it and refocus your energy on healing. I am sending you so much love. Please know that you are not alone as well.
Thank you so much for your honesty in sharing, Dougall. My love is with you, David, and your whole family at this challenging time.
My love and prayers are with you and your family!
I’m thinking about you and your family as you navigate the journey with strength and flexibility. Thank you for this post and the authenticity you show everyone. I’m glad you both feel comfortable to keep personal in the personal space when you need to and are also willing to share when it feels right. Peace and healing.
Earlier I read your post to the Manifestation class and extended my sympathetic heart to your deep family concerns. Today I feel equally compassionate, and also glad to have the follow-up to us revealing not only the truth, but the fact that this is so human. As I said before, your total being offers a real model for the rest of us, not only in regard to the intuitive realms, but to the emotional honesty that takes time to integrate, and important to recognize. Emotions are so tricky. I find I am learning how to be vulnerable and sensitive to myself and especially to others in connection with me. It requires a lot of awareness for me, and because of you, I am getting increasingly in touch. Today hit a huge curveball. And today I read this post directed to the Color certificate group. So it resonates tremendously because it hits home, like an out-field ball hit, one that takes me time to retrieve. In addition, it guides me to recognize that other emotional traumas ARE curve-balls. And that helps so immensely for me to identify them as curve balls….because it brings my attention to another dimension of focus. Not just WHAH! or what?why?etc. But–ok, curve ball — why WAS the pitcher thinking/or feeling/etc. And to live with it as an opportunity rather than the demise of life. Which in a sense it is, but not 100% because as you shared, your family is growing closer. And for me, I am reaching out beyond my emotional reaction of feeling shock, to continue to function with what is important for my self-care. Thanks Dougall for your inner need to post this difficult family matter. A mother is a root of a loving family. You have such a buoyant sense of survival, and trust your family responds to your most amazingly gifted heart of love because it truly serves in healing. Blessings
Thank you Sue, you expressed yourself beautifully here and I really appreciate the kind words.
Just wanted to send love and light to you and your family. You have alot of people who love you and send their hearts filled with Gods Blessings.
Sending you and all your family love and blessings. Thank you so much for sharing something so delicate and deep. One more reason to value you and your teachings.
Thank you Suzette, I really appreciate the kind words.